Following a rapid recount, the Miliband brothers, David and Ed were confirmed as the new Labour Party leader yesterday, following a protracted campaign to find a replacement for former leader Gordon Brown.
The new leader, to be known as DavEd Miliband, was elected after the complicated electoral college system left both Milibands with exactly the same number of votes.
Initial confusion was settled after Labour’s general-secretary, Ray Collins, confirmed the result saying ‘We used exactly the same computer as Gordon used for his deficit reduction forecasts during the General Election so we know it must be correct.’
Speaking after his appointment DavEd, said ‘In the current political, our Miliband coalition is the perfect solution.’ But Tory veteran, John ‘Vulcan’ Redwood, observed wryly ‘The socialists appear to have gone into improbability drive and elected Zaphod Beeblebrox.’
The news was received favourably by delegates arriving in Manchester for the Labour Party’s annual conference. ‘Barring a total Balls up, this was always looking to be the likely result,’ said party activist, Deidre Gibson. ‘The Milibands have been the clear front runners and this gives us the best of both worlds. In one single leader, we now have catered for the Blair-ish centre ground and also the intellectual lefties. All we have to do between now and 2015 is to find a candidate who can actually win the next Election.’
It has been decided that the post of deputy leader will also be filled by DavEd Miliband. “As only two people can fill the post of leader and deputy, this seemed to be the logical thing to do,’ said Mr Collins, adding, ‘we did briefly consider a bid from a coalition of Harriet Harman and Diane Abbott, but would have been silly.’