Earlier today Hampshire police raided a vegetable patch just outside Stockbridge and arrested a large black garden slug in connection with a spate of burglaries carried out in the area over the past two weeks.
The arrest was made following a massive response from the public after police issued an e-fit photo of the slug on a recent edition of BBC Crimewatch. Although the e-fit photo gave the impression the slug was wearing a human hair wig there was no mistaking it was the same slimy spineless, creature that had been slithering over TV screens in recent months
The slug, who was charged under his real name of Piers Stefan O’Meara, appeared in court wearing a light blue shirt and cream slacks refused to answer any questions relating to the charges and simply nodded to confirm his name.
The slug, currently being held in a jar at Eastleigh Police Station was charged with stealing the heart of Saturday night and if found guilty could face up to six months buried under a pile of table salt
‘He’s a slippery customer and no mistake’ said PC Kennford ‘we’ve been after this lowlife for some time. But we don’t think he couldn’t have ruined everyone’s Saturday night on his own, we think he had an accomplice. We think this other obnoxious creature is an even bigger slug than O’Meara and has been caught on camera wearing a ridiculously tight fitting slimy black outfit. He has a habit of exploiting the public and always leaves a trail of misery wherever he goes.
If any member of the public sees this slug, please do not approach him, he is a vile, repulsive piece of work and is extremely harmful.
Just call your local police station – phone lines will be open from 8am but you must be over 18 years of age and have permission of the bill payer. Calls will be charged at 15p per minute but some mobile phone operators may charge more.Terms and conditions apply.
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
E-fit photo slug arrested
(1 post) (1 voice)
Current rating::
-
Gerontius
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.