David Cameron today announced that he has always consider Margaret Thatcher 'a bit of an amateur, even something of a pussy' when it came to slashing government budgets and fighting miners.
"For one thing, she was so wet that she never got rid of the NHS," he pointed out. "I mean, that's got to be first on the hit list if you want to slash public spending, right? It's not like anyone needs it. We all have private health insurance these days. If you don't, get some fast is my advice."
When asked why he considered Thatcher 'a bit of wimp' when it came to fighting miners, Cameron said, "It wasn't her fault. The problem with Thatcher was that she was a woman." He then stood up from his seat, ripped off his shirt and began making fighting postures towards the camera. "She never got into the violence personally! So gentle and feminine, was Maggie! For jobs like this you need a man. Come on miners! I can take you! You should have seen me at school boxing club! You don't stand a chance!"
When it was pointed out to him that his threats were rendered somewhat hollow by the fact that there aren't any miners left, he calmed down, put his shirt back on and said, "That's as may be, but you just wait till I'm done with the NHS. It'll make Maggie look like some kind of pansy."