Al-Qaeda yesterday announced it had gone live with its new on line booking and check-in system for would be martyrs looking to get to paradise.
Unable to cope with the recent increase in people wishing to take their '74 virgin ticket' using the traditional method of flying to Afghanistan and undergoing extensive training, a new secure website allows potential bombers to sign up as a member to the terrorist group on line (a 12 month minimum contract term is required), book their flight and even arrange the carriage of their explosives to a suitable pick up point all from the comfort of their cave or armchair.
"We are very proud of it" Mullah Abdullah, a spokesman said today, "it uses the latest technology from Tata engineering and means a prospective martyr can unleash a fire-storm of fury on the infidel the moment he has accepted the terms and conditions and paid the non-refundable deposit."
A Gartner review of the site gave an impressive 87% rating, putting the portal up with the CNN in terms of usability. "A simple clear interface will allow an easy migration from couch to the cockpit for any would be terrorist" wrote David Anderson in his write up last week, "Some aspects do take a bit of getting used to such as you can't book a return: all fights are one way and go to 'Paradise', you can only select the "via" option to choose a particular city, the luggage and hand luggage options can get very difficult to understand when it comes to describing where you will be hiding the explosives and the section for making a detonator, well, let's just say we're looking forward to the upcoming Service Pack for the site." Overall though he noted an efficient and effective website and was particularly pleased to see the privacy policy meant his details would not be handed to the FBI.
In a joint statement today MI6 and the FBI denied it was losing out in the technical innovation war against Al Qaeda. "While we are aware of the development we are confident that our combined Information Warfare departments are comfortably ahead of this terrorist organization" said a spokesman today, "However if anyone does have any information which they think will help us please don’t hesitate to post us a letter telling us about it".