Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff has announced his retirement from all forms of cricket due to only having one working leg. The injury-plagued all-rounder revealed the decision came after consultation with a few mates over a couple of barrels a beer while on a long weekend bender.
"Having been told my body would no longer stand up to the rigours of cricket, I had no alternative but to concentrate on the sport I was born to do. You're out in glorious weather, you can drink a lot and you're sitting down while your competing, so it doesn't get any better than that," he said.
He has repeatedly expressed his desire "to be the best pedalo racer in the world" and you often see him after midnight on a pedalo, which underlines his total commitment to the sport. You can tell he enjoys it by his loud singing.
The lucrative Indian Pedalo League is where Freddie will ply his trade next summer, having already signed for Chennai Stupor Kings. Known as Fredalo in pedalo circles, he is set to be the star of the League.
Freddie leaves cricket with a test average of 12 pints an innings. He's often been compared to Sir Ian Botham but he's never really been a shagger.
Mainly though, he will remembered for helping England secure two Ashes series and leaving Ricky Pontin with the look of a constipated wombat permanently etched on his strangely small face.