Serial dodgy dealer Prince Andrew is touting tickets for the best seats in the house at Wembley’s FA Cup Final on Saturday. He has reportedly acquired a large number of what he termed ‘comps’ for seats in the Royal Box and is keen for them to go to the highest bidders rather than just the Kazakh oligarchs, brutal dictators and convicted paedophiles with whom he usually associates.
The FA Cup Final is an historic showpiece occasion where many of the real fans who have followed their team around the country all season are traditionally denied tickets because the FA hands out so many of them to the people they really care about, such as corporate sponsors, Royal Box dwellers and Robbie Earle.
However, it is understood that many of the usual occupants of the Royal Box gave their premier tickets to the so-called ‘Duke of Hawk’ for him to flog off as soon as they realised the game would involve Jose Mourinho’s Boring Boring Man United. Most claim to be going to another match instead although it is questionable whether that will be any more interesting.
Prince Andrew stands to make a tidy profit, with estimates of the value of each ticket on the black market ranging from £5000 up to the cost of matchday parking in Wembley’s official car parks. When asked for a statement regarding what appears to many genuine fans as an unacceptable situation, an FA spokesman made no comment other than to point out that Prince Andrew’s nephew happens to be FA Chairman Prince William.
