Fans wept openly as a grinning George Michael was led from the dock to spend a gruelling four weeks behind bars with men who enjoy showers.
Although having no memory since early 2010, and being banned from driving animals for 2 years, he admitted to crashing his personalised elephant into something, somewhere possibly in London.
No1 fan Sonja Bates watched distraught from the public gallery as her idol was sentenced. “His only crime was living life to the full”, she said “and maybe bumming that van driver in West Hampstead Heath Park.”
Michael is reported to have settled into his cell and be in high spirits, despite being warned not to play “you show me yours” in the toilets.