Beleagured Home Secretary for the Empire, Darth Vader, assured an anxious galaxy of subjugated victims that his harsh public sector cuts will not affect the level of storm trooper oppression and killing, despite there being less "baddies on the beat".
The cuts follow an embarrassing loss of many billions of space dollars, after Vader invested in a string of sub-prime properties with gaping hopes in the side, clearly signed with "Hey Luke, plop your bombs in here" written above them, which Vader now concedes was a mistake.
"I am confident that if we fire a few Storm Troopers, and under-pay and under-resource the rest of them, then the Empire will again be safe." stated the dark lord, smiling and pointing confidently at a pie-chart on a powerpoint slide.
"We are looking into a new cost more effective security model for the future, and we now think we can keep perfect law and order, just by giving one bad actor a shiny stick - the projected figures for cost savings are massive."
The new slogan for the one man cross-universe security force is "may the force not be with you"
[any ideas, out there? needs much work, but can perhaps be saved?]