Changes in strategy and funding are putting the renewal of Humpty Dumpty at risk it was revealed today.
A damning MoD report shows one in five of all the King's Men being replaced by axes, with horses expected to follow, leading to "very significant" cuts elsewhere.
The Minister of Budgets launched a surprisingly scathing attack in response, with the tirade "‘Glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’!" when referring to the value of restoring Humpty Dumpty, whose maintenance has been considered essential to our national well-being for generations.
A confidential source close to the Minister suggested the introduction of axes may be a smokescreen to take attention away from the arising discussion as to whether anyone can make words mean so many different things.
We shall inveggstigate and bring you more soon.