Following intense mediation sessions brokered through relationship organisation Relate, Taoist philosophical concepts Yin and Yang have finally made peace after several millennia of fierce disagreement.
The ancient East Asian notions have been posited as glowing examples of how successful Relate's counselling services can be. 'I always thought that Yang just didn't understand me,' said Yin. 'I mean, I've always felt that there was a bit of Yang in me, especially in those rare moments when we were getting amorous, but these sessions have really helped me to embrace our differences and understand each other better.'
Yin's life-partner, Yang, is also thankful for the help that the Relate service has provided. 'The situation came to a head after what started out as a disagreement about which of us was the more masculine characterisation ended up with my stuff in a bin liner out on the lawn,' said Yang. 'I have to admit, I'm still a bit smug about that, because that's a bloody typical thing for a woman to do, but now I fully understand that they can be a bit mental from time to time, and that's all thanks to Relate.'
Relate's work with the couple has caused a storm of protests, with many detractors complaining that some martial arts, the entire practise of Chinese medicine and the balance of the known universe have been thrown into turmoil. 'Dropping a smooth pebble into a calm pool really isn't working the way it should any more,' sighed leading UK physicist Mark Bowley. 'I mean, it still seems to be rippling and all that, but it just doesn't have the same 'feel' about it.'
Yin and Yang seem unperturbed by the knock-on effects of their reconciliation. 'In the past we've always seemed to be polar opposites,' said Yin. 'It's amazing that we got together in the first place to be honest -- we've got absolutely nothing in common, to the point that we hardly ever really seemed to be around at the same time. But, thanks to Relate, it's all blissful harmony from now on. Well, apart from every Friday when Yang comes back from the pub hammered. There's some harsh 'transcendental opposition' from me then, I can tell you!'