Tony Blair has been forced to hand back the Liberty Medal after the Award Committee failed a drugs test. International Testers had been sent to Philadelphia when suspicion arose that the committee must be off their trollies on class A drugs. All members of the committee failed the test and are now in rehab.
He would have joined the likes of Nelson Mandela and Kofi Annan had the award stood.
Somehow the committee had forgotten about Iraq and Afghanistan and the fact that he'd done bugger all to resolve any conflict anywhere in the world. Tony Blair had been honoured in America with a medal, £64,000 prize and a banquet for his services to peace and for 'bringing liberty to people around the world'.
Former President, Bill Clinton, inadvertently gave a speech meant for someone else and praised Blair for bringing peace in the Middle East to within a cat's whisker of success.
Mr Blair, who had only turned up to flog his book in the foyer, said: 'Freedom, liberty and justice are the values by which this medal is struck. Freedom, liberty and justice are the values which I try to apply when invading countries and killing people who are of no threat whatsoever because they are miles away.
He went on to thank the other nominees - Robert Mugabe, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad and Kim Jong II.