Little known outsider and long-lost cousin of David and Ed Milliband Steve Miller-Band today stunned Labour supporters by making a late entry into the Labour leadership election.
Addressing the TUC annual conference, Miller-Band, called Maurice by some people, spoke in depth of the pompetous of love before controversially admitting that he was both a smoker and a midnight toker. Labour officials have since distanced the party from his lenient stance on smoking and the legalisation of drugs.
Mr Miller-Band went on to describe himself as a space cowboy, a claim that fellow contender Andy Burnham argued was evidence of undue influence on his rival candidate by the National Farmers Union. His claim to be the Gangster of Love also drew an angry response from Ed Balls, who complained that he wanted that title for himself.
The other leadership contenders have however laughed off his credentials, with Diane Abbott dismissing him as ‘a joker’, an accusation that Miller-Band was surprisingly happy to agree with.