Oxfam, the charity company that specialises in executive relief aid, has announced plans for endorsing Fairtrade prostitution.
Prostitutes have recently come under the scrutiny of Oxfam workers, and what they saw really made them stand up to attention. After some all-too-brief liaosoms, lengthy crying and feelings of self-loathing and regret, the consensus was that they were generally worth more than a bag of rice.
"It may be the oldest trade but wages haven't kept up with progress" revealed spokesman Nigel Farish. "While those using their services get free flights, accomodation, glowing references on their CV, sex with prostitutes and a bag of rice, all the prostitute gets is the bag of rice."
After some penetrating research into the ins and outs of prostitutes, Oxfam has decided that they can't just lay back and let it happen. The organization is really getting stuck in, to come to a conclusion.
"Our team of volunteers will assess each prostitute at a time, or two at once if they're feeling energetic", said Farish. "As a minimum, we think even the most basic whore should get two bags of rice, and a grateful handshake for what they've been through. Oh, and perhaps a couple of grand in hush money."
Oxfam insists that many of its members take prostitutes for granted, not having time in their busy schedules to think about the ethics. The Fairtrade symbol should change all that.
"Just like for our coffee and our chocolate, the Fairtrade logo can wonders" Farish insisted. "Many’s the time I've looked for the symbol in Waitrose, thought of the good I'm doing, and then wanked myself unconscious."
