And Rick, I've just snorted coffee all over my NEW computer keyboard.
(47 posts) (23 voices)
When we had rats in the garden I couldn't be bothered to do anything, so I convinced Mrs O'Pecia that they were escaped Norwegian Hamsters.
The fox dragging the pond pump out every night was a bloody nuisance though, no idea what he was up to.
Has anyone suggested that you get a cat?
Sheesh Al, have you never heard of the Volunteer Fox Fire Brigade?!
What you want is a ruddy great 12 bore.
No, no, wait - that's for moles.
I thought moles are to be zipped into bag and dropped into a bath.
Right, this is what you do.
You will need:
1 x Empty plastic container (something like a large margarine tub)
1 x cocktail stick
1 x piece of cotton or thread (approx 8-10cm)
1 x cornflake
1 x 12" single of Duran Duran's 'Hungry like the wolf'
Ok, take your cocktail stick and carefully poke a small hole near one edge of the cornflake.
Tie one end of your piece of thread to the cornflake being careful not to break through the edge as it's probably quite brittle.
Tie the other end of the thread to the cocktail stick.
Carefully prop up one end of the margarine tub on the cocktail stick and leave the cornflake carefully positioned in the space underneath the tub.
Make sure all other foodstuffs are tucked away so that the cornflake is the only delicious comestible available in the vicinity.
When Mr Mouse comes along he will sniff out the cornflake, and will start to nibble at it, causing the cockail stick to fall and bring down the margarine tub, effectively trapping him underneath.
In the morning, simply slip the 12" single under the tub, remove to a safe distance and release the mouse into the wild.
I have done this and it works a treat. Best of luck.
Have you thought about you and the mouse going to Relate to talk through your differences?
You need a ramp with cheese at the end - leave this out for a few days.
On the five day attach a razor blade to the end of the ramp and remove the cheese, the mouse will run up leand over the razor blade looking for the cheese. As the cheese is not their little mousey will shake his head thinking where's the cheese!
polonium-210 injected into brie
I like the polonium idea but don't know anyone in the Russian secret services.
Remember - all solutions need to involve minimum damage to the mouse because that's the kind of sweet-hearted guy I am.
There are two cats in the vicinity, one called Mia and one we refer to as the "BTS cat" for reasons I won't go into.
In the event that we capture it , I'll probably just give it a fucking good talking to before letting it out somewhere near the M53 on the way to work. From there it can take its chances with the buzzards and kestrels.
Still no catch ..
Suggest chocolate as best bait. Less messy than peanut butter. Our cats bring them in alive and then they escape into the house, which seems to defeat the object of having cats as a deterrent. However they do manage to find their way out if you can leave a door open.
I've tried leaving the door open. Neither teenager has taken the hint.
I've found that others wander in as well, Dr.Mop.
I took my Apple Mighty Mouse to pieces yesterday to clean the scroll ball. Now works a treat. Very fiddly but ultimately rewarding.
Have you thought about changing the sofa
Nice one Mr.Scroat,sounds very rewarding but a bit beyond my capabilities. I just give mine a quick scratch when no one's looking but might try that approach next time.
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