New research published last night claimed that all the consonants in use today were once joined together to form a single giant, unpronouncable consonant, surrounded by an enormous vowel.
Grammatologist Professor Theo Black of Cambridge University, who lead the research explained, "The alphabet of the distant past took a very different form compared to its present configuration. The superconsonant existed for millions of years, before individual consonants eventually broke off and drifted away to occupy their present locations. For example, while the letters 'b' and 'z' are found at opposite ends of the alphabet, new evidence clearly shows that they were once directly connected to each other. Scientists have also long suspected that the letter 'r' once curved over the letter 'j' before they were separated by some cataclysmic linguistic event; and now we have the proof."
An artist's impression of the superconsonant 'bcdfghjklmnpqrstvwxyz' nicknamed 'bryz' was unveiled last night by ex-Countdown hostess Carol Vorderman...
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Consonants were all once part of one 'giant super consonant'
(17 posts) (10 voices)
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Posted 2 years ago #
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Super duper.
Although I'd ditch the last sentence, that doesn't work for me.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Love it! Pad it out a bit, break it up into paragraphs, and you've got yourself a FP there, I'd reckon.
Great work.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Excellent. Must be a cert for a FP.
Posted 2 years ago # -
The theory of consonontal drift was first proposed during the 19th century after possible fossilized remains of protoconsonants were found during detailed exploration of the Welsh language. More recently, scientists have found evidence showing a linguistic hot-spot traversing the mid-pacific that has left a trail of young, almost consonant-free languages in it's wake.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Better as a NiB IMHO, but still 4.8****.
Posted 2 years ago # -
If this story doesn't make it somehow onto the main site I will complain to the authorities.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Lovely.
Posted 2 years ago # -
These large movements in consonants are explained by the theory of plate alphabetonics, and offer insights as to the modern results of evowelution.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Creationists claim that all the consonants and vowels were made by a divine being in a single day about 3,000 years ago, probably while he was doing the crossword after lunch.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Love it. It's screaming out for a Welsh language joke.
Posted 2 years ago # -
ANd the winner is Myth Wales?
Posted 2 years ago # -
The Welsh claim that they got two L's because God loved Llandudno so much that he decided to name it twice.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I already did the Wales bit. And Hawaiian, for those who understood my geologically derived comment.
Posted 2 years ago # -
The Hawaiian was a bit short on ham and pineapple.
Posted 2 years ago # -
bryll
Posted 2 years ago # -
Creationists claim that all the consonants and vowels were made by a divine being in a single day about 3,000 years ago, probably while he was doing the crossword after lunch.
1 down was............. big 40 ton creature that walked ran and jumped that God never mentioned.Posted 2 years ago #
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