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There's something funny about multi-culturalism...


(23 posts) (11 voices)
  • Started 2 years ago by nealdoran
  • Latest reply from Hunter F. Thompson

Tags:

  • Enoch Powell TV
  • Enoch Powell TV +1
  • Mind Your Language II
  • multiculturalism isn't inherently funny
  • One hood or two?
  • political correctness gone boring
  • Return of Mixed Blessings
  • the bbc are kinda racist
  • The Rainbow Family
  • Well they smell funny don't they?
  1. nealdoran

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    ...and also an opportunity for literally puerile humour, all thanks to those good people at the BBC:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/writersroom/2010/08/new_college_of_comedy_initiati.shtml

    It's a couple of BBC writing opportunities, for anyone that wisely can't be arsed to click on the link to find out what on earth I'm wittering about.

    [EDIT: Having looked at the conditions of entry, there's a Cbeebies writing workshop but it looks to be invitation only, and for the multi-cultural sitcom contest you need some professional credits to enter, but I'm sure there's a few people on here that'd still qualify...]

    Posted 2 years ago #
  2. Stan Laurel

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    Multi-cultural. That's Northerners and Southerners, right?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  3. ramblesnake

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    I'm not reading all that. Give us a brief précis Neal.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  4. nealdoran

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    They have culture in the South, Stan?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  5. IABP

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    Northern writers won't be able to afford a pen and paper.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  6. ramblesnake

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    Stan's a Northerner, born in Ulvuston or Barrow or thereabouts.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  7. Quaz

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    Ok, a quick pitch. A Street in Kabul occupied by Iain Paisley, Gerry Adams, Abu Hamza, Benjamin Netanhayu, Peter Tatchel, and Germain Greer. Every week they try to build a common ground out of Lego while telling Netanhayu that he isn't allowed to build a wall.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  8. Hunter F. Thompson

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    Why don't they just reconstruct the last official lynching? 1934, San Jose, California in an apricot orchard.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  9. ramblesnake

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    nice use of the term "Official lynching" there Hunter F.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  10. rikkor

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    That's the problem: when lynching went amateur, all sorts of questionable styles and abuses of form became rampant. Dragging live people behind pick-up trucks, etc..

    I have heard that in some places down South nowadays, people don't even step down off the sidewalk to allow their betters to pass.

    I remember San Jose when it was nothing more than apricot orchards with corpses swinging from the branches. It's all changed now. They've even got a Starbucks.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  11. FormerlyAlOPecia

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    Strictly speaking Rikkor that's "Towing with Malice Aforethought".

    Posted 2 years ago #
  12. rikkor

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    I've probably told this here before, but my mother witnessed a cross-burning happening on a neighbor's lawn when I was a child. (The neighbor was the mayor, and Mumsie was too proper to wake us chirruns up to witness the goings on. Never let good manners get in the way of a cross-burning is my motto but not my mother's.) When I think about it now, maybe my mother was worried that as Catholics, the Klan would come for us next.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  13. FormerlyAlOPecia

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    Is that like cross-dressing?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  14. rikkor

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    Well, if you cinch those white robes with a smart belt (noose?) and accessorize properly, you can really get a look going. Remember, "hood" and "snood" are just a couple of letters apart.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  15. FormerlyAlOPecia

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    "Cinders" is this year's black.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  16. bonjonelson

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    Cbeebies idea.

    "Homeopathic Santa".

    I haven't figured out all the details yet

    Posted 2 years ago #
  17. Quaz

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    Mitchell and Webb's sketch about how the Klan got their uniform here

    Posted 2 years ago #
  18. Hunter F. Thompson

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    The actual get up is the same costume as the White Penitents (an order of flagellants who give generously to charity), who still parade in remote European townships for Lent.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  19. rikkor

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    I think in the US they are mostly White Pentecostals.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  20. Snarkos

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    How discriminatory, demanding professional writing credentials of the mixed race entrants. Surely they know that being ethnic means being barely able to string a sentence together. What hope do we have? This is why we have been so poorly represented, as they put it.

    I pray to go this isn't going to end up another Goodness Gracious Me. What exactly do they want? A sitcom surrounding the ups and downs of a fundamentalist Muslim family from Bradford as they contend with the hilarious issues of racism, arranged marriage, female genital mutilation, and honour killings? Or do they just want a United Colors of Benetton ad?

    Posted 2 years ago #
  21. Hunter F. Thompson

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    I think, Mr Snarkos, that mining the deep vein of humourous situations for asylum-seekers from Yemen and DRC now living in Scunthorpe is rather what the BEEB had hoped for. You know how it is when you have to live as a family of 4 on GBP35 of food vouchers a week in accommodation supervised by people who are contractually obliged to turn you in if your wife's brother suddenly arrives from Overseas wanting to sleep under one of the beds. The running sores on his back from CIA torture sessions and the condition of his feet won't qualify him for status as a refugee [Immigration Tribunal Decisions: "...your evidence is disbelieved..." always gets a laugh], and will in fact get the entire family into trouble.

    Key comedy highlights occur as the family scurry round gathering up their possessions at 6 one morning, as they are being turned out by Home Office heavies and carted off to detention centres - along with the cheese grater and empty toothpaste tubes they have confusedly brought along for the ride - ready to put back on a plane home, where their torturers will be able to greet them at their destination, repeatedly rape the little girls and their mother and do unspeakable damage to the father and his unfortunate, visiting, relative.

    A happy-family ending, rich with the promise of many more cheerful episodes, is arrived at in 30 minutes only, as the wife is now pregnant again and on a plane to Glasgow, where she will seek - yet again - asylum and refugee status in Great Britain. The next episode will develop the cute situations which arise as she valiantly (she's Catholic) gives birth to her rapist's child, born a UK citizen, after having been refused pre-natal care by an ignorant jobsworth from the local authority and her labour and brithing process used as hands-on training for junior interns who, later in life and from their Harley Street rooms, recall jokingly the twists and turns of an awesome birthing mishap which they luckily were able to cover up. [The working title for this episode is "Another Brit Born Brain-Dead!"]

    In a later episode and quite by chance, we meet the little girls in an army camp high in the hills of Afghanistan, cheerfully singing Irish sea shanties as they entertain British troops. Comedy effects arise from the contrasts between their childish, pregnant strip-tease and the words of the songs: bump and gind on "drun-ken sai-lor", etc., etc. Regular mock-up Maily Dale FP's nipping at their heels enhance these comedy moments. Themes such as "Workshy Teen Prostitutes Duck School In Afghanistan!", etc., etc. keep the pot boiling as the next hilarious episode is quietly set up.

    The series is designed to provide a quick, effortless tour of the last 30 years' Foreign Policy in a manner which leaves the intellect unchallenged, and gets a few homespun truths through to...erm, well: whoever's watching.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  22. sauce

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    Sounds like a dead cert, HFT.

    Posted 2 years ago #
  23. Hunter F. Thompson

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    Thank you. No trouble at all. You will have noticed that I qualify, BTW, as a "professional writer", of sorts.

    Posted 2 years ago #

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