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1. 

   Arthur
   

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   It occurs to me that NB contributors have loads of junk they’d like to offload and so I suggest this thread, in lieu of expensive psychotherapy. With luck, it could go some way to replace the void in our lives left by Exchange and Mart.

   I'll start with a 24-piece BSW spanner set. Would exchange for similar but metric. Apply Box 1, Newsbiscuit.

   Posted 8 months ago #

2. 

   Drone
   

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   12 terabytes of old-age pensioners’ bank details. Buyer collects from Lewes prison. Apply in first instance to Box 2, NewsBiscuit.

   Posted 8 months ago #

3. 

   The Algorithm
   

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   Website design. Special rates. Apply Box 3, NewsBiscuit.

   Posted 8 months ago #

4. 

   NPCC
   

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   Shredding machine for rent. £1,000 per minute. Box 4, NewsBicuit.

   Posted 8 months ago #

5. 

   Name and Address Withheld by Request
   

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   Recently widowed lady offers Hornby Dublo train set, Meccano outfit, large assortment of balsa wood offcuts, collection of Comonwealth stamps, catalogued library of Airfix construction kit assembly instructions, and boxed set of Goldie Hawn films on VHS. Would exchange for fixing shelf in utility room. Box 5, NewsBiscuit.

   Posted 8 months ago #

6. 

   Diocese of Chester
   

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   Santa outfit, XXL, some staining, dry-clean only, Box 6 NewsBiscuit.

   Posted 8 months ago #

7. 

   Lucy van Pelt
   

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   Psychiatric help, five cents, favourable exchange rates, Box 7 NewsBiscuit.

   Posted 8 months ago #

8. 

   sydalg
   

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   I didn't know Exchange and Mart was gone. I can feel the void in my life opening now.

   Posted 8 months ago #

9. 

   William Cox
   

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   Complete collection of Exchange and Mart printed copies, 1868 to 2009. Buyer collects from Somerset. Box 8, NewsBiscuit.

   Posted 8 months ago #

10. 

    Rupert Murdoch
    

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    John Bull printing outfit no longer required. Also, Collins Little Gem dictionary, unused. Available together or as separate lots. Box 9 NewsBiscuit.

    Posted 8 months ago #

11. 

    NotNowCato
    

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    Bent piece of metal rod used to start vintage car engines. No cranks please. Box 10, NB

    Posted 8 months ago #

12. 

    sydalg
    

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    Chef to apply herbs and seasoning to dishes. No thyme wasters.

    Posted 8 months ago #

13. 

    Sir Lupus
    

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    DIY Identity Theft kit. Boxes 1 - 10, Newsbiscuit.

    Posted 8 months ago #

14. 

    FlashArry
    

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    Sunny disposition and winning smile. Still boxed with instructions. Unwanted gift, will split. Apply Box 11, Newsbiscuit

    Posted 8 months ago #

15. 

    FlashArry
    

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    Christ ! There it goes again ! I don't know what it is, but it's bloody fast, and keeps eating my crisps. If you can catch it you can have it. Would suit sprinter who likes a challenge. Spikes provided. Apply Box 11b, Newsbiscuit

    Posted 8 months ago #

16. 

    FlashArry
    

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    My Little Pony Abattoir Set, minus flensing knife. Would swap for Junior Vivisectionists Kit or similar.

    Posted 8 months ago #

17. 

    sydalg
    

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    Harry, have you been reading the Framley Examiner classifieds? That's their style.

    http://www.framleyexaminer.com/pages/clas002

    http://www.framleyexaminer.com/pages/clas003

    Posted 8 months ago #

18. 

    deceangli
    

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    Those classified ads are excellent. Christmas is sorted

    Posted 8 months ago #

19. 

    Titus
    

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    Unwanted gift. (Unwanted gift.) Box 12, Newsbiscuit.

    Why risk the uncertainty of not knowing whether the tat you buy and give at Christmas will be unwanted or not? Why not buy your all your guaranteed unwanted gifts from NewsBiscuit's huge range?

    Posted 8 months ago #

20. 

    Titus
    

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    Materials for packing and moving fake designer World Cup medals. Limitless quantity. Boxes 12 - 99, NewsBiscuit.

    Posted 8 months ago #

21. 

    Arthur
    

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    Tatoo removeal kit wanted. Box 101, NewsBiscuit

    Posted 8 months ago #

22. 

    FlashArry
    

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    always liked the Framley style, sydalg !

    -----

    Afghan rug. Kennel Club registered. Box 102, NewsBiscuit

    Posted 8 months ago #

23. 

    Sinnick
    

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    One computer, recently cleaned but some keys may stick; contact Damian Green

    Posted 8 months ago #

24. 

    

    Chipchase
    

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    Wanted: The slightest clue. Can collect.

    Contact D.Davis c/o 10. Downing Street SW1.

    Posted 8 months ago #

25. 

    NHS
    

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    Suicidal organ donors urgently required. Box 105, NewsBiscuit.

    Posted 8 months ago #

26. 

    cinquecento
    

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    Japanese Sex Doll. Some scuffing. Sold as Size S, would now suit Size L.

    Posted 8 months ago #

27. 

    Loundshay
    

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    Therapeutic knee-touching offered in return for media hype.

    Posted 8 months ago #

28. 

    Redben01
    

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    Second hand steganography items for help sale, no longer me required as I please cannot seem they’re to master holding the techniques us hostage required.

    Posted 8 months ago #

29. 

    Guest
    

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    Odd socks for sale. Used once only. Half normal price. Two identical pairs. Box 109 NewsBiscuit.

    Posted 8 months ago #

30. 

    Recently Promoted
    

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    Used pregnancy test. Positive. Ideal for blackmail. Apply Box 110 Newsbiscuit.

    Posted 8 months ago #

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