Daily Express readers around the country were outraged after it was revealed that one single benefit scrounger was costing the taxpayer around £2.5 million a year. Far from being grateful, Charles Philip Arthur George, 62, is rumored to have complained that this is still not enough money to live on.
“One has barely enough money to take the train out” complained Charles. The train, which runs on bio-fuels and the tears of children, is thought to cost the taxpayer around £50,000 per week to run. “Some short-sighted people seem to think that eight carriages are too many for one person, however, one hardly thinks that one is being treated like royalty” moaned the hard-up tax dodger.
Joseph Publique, a disgruntled builder from Reading, said “This is typical of the British welfare system- I work full time as a builder as well as twenty three hours a day as a male prostitute; but I'd be better off just living off the government. At least then I might get a helicopter or ballroom”.
Complaints surrounding Charles and his wife Camilla, 95, have been raised previously after the couple were rehoused from a one bedroom flat in Slough to a six hundred room palace in London. “When I inspected the flat, the rooms were in a right mess, with corgis faeces trodden into the floor and mattresses. The kitchen cupboards looked as if they had collapsed from the sheer weight of coins and treasures that had been forced into them. They are the worst tenants I've ever had, so they had to be evicted” explained former landlord Mr Haston.
London Council advised that they had a duty to provide shelter for Charles, Camilla and the two children form Charles' first marriage. “We simply cannot allow the children to go homeless. They'd probably end up on drugs. The youngest is particularly at risk” advised Nancy Dogood, head of the Wasteful Spending Department at the council's head office .
Ironically, Charles' own mother is still working at the age of eighty four and is forced to wave at poor people for up to twenty minutes a day, just to earn a pitiful £11 million a year. The long-standing monarch voiced concerns at her son's behaviour “Alright, geezer - yeah, that big-eared ponce has such an easy gig. And he's always round here nicking food and crowns”.