NEWSBISCUIT has learned from private sources that, taken aback by public outrage at the department's incompetence, HMRC is preparing to announce that it will not - after all - collect underpayments or make any refunds, but intends to balance its books internally by offsetting errors in its computing of individual taxes against each other.
The accounting exercise would theoretically create a negative balance in favour of approximately 2 million British taxpayers, but correcting HMRC's mistakes would cost almost as much again as the refunds it now intends not to make.
Taxpayers wishing to obtain redress are referred to HMRC Regulation Section (C)(a)_ivv. Paragraph 55(d) of the Internal Revenue Code dated 10 December 2010, presently being drafted by C. T. O'Paighnts Associates, Consultants. It is thought that means are to be developped for taxpayers to claim refunds from each other, thus saving administrative costs and, ultimately, avoiding future tax increases.