Two best friends have admitted to having a secret bromance for over ten years, despite being married. ‘At first we didn't realise what was going on ourselves,’ said Marcus, 37, 'but then I realised that I had to see Darren everyday. I would make up any excuse to go down the pub and see him, whether it be the football or because I had a craving for nuts. I don’t know how long I could have gone on lying to my wife. In the end we had nothing in common and I just didn't care about her plans for the bedroom, let alone her curtains.'
The couple first met at Northumbria University in 1999, when both Darren and Marcus were studying a masters degree in 'Brotherhood and The Great War'. Although both were in long term relationships at the time, the chemistry was obvious: 'We clicked straight away, I felt like I'd met my soul mate,' said Darren, 34. 'We shared a love of Charlton Athletic, German wheat beers and an irrational fixation with the 'Lethal Weapon' films.'
'Half the time we went out with our fiancés, we would get talking and we wouldn't have even noticed they had left. I think even then they thought it was strange that we would always slap each other’s arses 'for a laugh' and have a good wrestle when we were drunk. It was just good fun and so easy. But it's not like we spooned. Often.'
Despite desperate spousal pleading and promises to learn how to appreciate a good fart, both Darren and Marcus have filed for divorce from their wives, citing an irreconcilable hatred of 'Glee' , and have been living together for a month. 'So far so good,' said Darren. 'I can't get used to the toilet seat being up all the time, and every once a while I catch myself thinking about doing the dishes or doing some washing. I guess it will just take some Xbox, lots of Babestation and plenty of Fosters to get my head around everything.'
However, Marcus is keen to tackle rumours of a full-blown homosexual relationship:'I'm so happy and I can't see when it will end, we fit so well. But there isn't anything weird going on. I can't say I blame people for talking as it is a little unconventional, but it's only gay if you push back.'