Police in the UK and Pakistan are investigating claims the Pakistan cricketing world has been infiltrated by the Taliban, after allegations of cheating by Pakistani players have rocked the usually ignored cricketing world. "Think about it," said one police officer on condition of anonymity, "Cheating! It's just the kind of thing the Taliban would do. They just have no moral boundaries at all. You've got to be suspicious."
Critics of the theory point out that Pakistani cricket draws most of its recruits from wealthy urban populations while the Taliban draw most of their recruits from rural people so poor they barely have two sticks to rub together. But some have suggested that getting hold of two sticks to rub together could be a prime motivation for Taliban infiltrators. "There can even get three sticks," one fan of the theory pointed out. "Six if you count the wickets at both ends. That's bloody luxury for some ragged villager without a change of pants from the North West Frontier Provinces."
All those accused of cheating have strenuously denied links with the Taliban, but then they would wouldn't they? [lacks objectivity? - ed]
"They'll be infiltrating the government next," said a UK intelligence insider who has no doubts about the theory. "And once they do that they'll have nukes as well as a change of pants. We won't be talking about cricket then sonny jim. Or pants."