Channel 4 have today released plans to kill the last contestant of Big Brother at the end of it's final series as a sacrifice to their sacred daity, Davina McCall. The ritual killing will come at the end of very last episode, when all the minor celebrities have been voted out, barr one. This 'Last Man Standing' will then be taking into a small sacrificial chamber and have their heart removed by a Incan Priest (Or a member of the production crew dressed up.)
"The ritual sacrifice is a bold but exciting move for Big Brother," said a Channel 4 spokesperson, "Sure, a lot of people have wanted to kill some of the contestants in the past, but no one has ever actually managed to do it. Until now."
Despite being an obvious infringement of human rights, there has been absolutely no words of complaint about the move. "I think it's a brilliant idea, myself," said Enid Brent, a Big Brother viewer from Greater Manchester, "Why can't they do it on other programmes, make it a bit more interesting?"
William Hill are currently taking bets on who the sacrificed celebrity will be, and they are already getting hundreds of people in everyday. There has been some minor public outcry as to why some celeberities that people want to get killed have been ommited from the show. Among the list are Paris Hilton, Katie Price, James Blunt and Orvil.
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