David Cameron has today been accused of having unprotected political intercourse with Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg despite knowing that he himself harboured the destructive illness Public Sector Deficiency Syndrome. The illness causes the carrier to compulsively attack public services on the grounds that they are deficient, thus causing them to become genuinely deficient.
The Crown Prosecution Service is today considering launching a case against Cameron for 'Grievous Political Harm' against the person of Nick Clegg. "The evidence suggests that the Liberal Democrats once supported strong public services," said one source. "And now suddenly their leader is all ra-ra-ra for destroying them, just like Cameron. It's too much of a coincidence when they've so recently had intercourse."
The Prime Minister's office refused to comment on the story, claiming that the two leaders' acts of political intercourse were private and not open to public scrutiny. While Clegg also refused to comment explicitly on the story he did put out a public statement emphasising 'the vital importance of using protection in these times of high infection rates.'