Given the unholy choice between the Coalition of Chaos and a Band of Bigots, and the terrifying prospect of the political resurrection of Michael Gove, the Palace has taken the unprecedented approach of dissolving Parliament (again) and asking the England U-20 cup-winning squad to form the next government.
Whilst lacking an elected mandate, the Palace has been impressed with the cohesion, coherence and commitment shown by the team throughout the campaign, with both major party political leaders being urged to "watch and learn". The Palace has also expressed the delight at having a youthful, athletic and popular government, whilst admitting that Dominic Calvert-Lewin is "a bit of a hottie".
The Palace has also indicated that the senior squad will be asked to mastermind the upcoming EU negotiations, based on their successful Brexit campaigns of 2016, 2012, 2008 ...
