David Cameron took a well earned break from his holidays today to announce that after a country wide debate on the proposal to transfer local community services to J.D. Wetherspoon's a decision had been reached.
Speaking exclusively to Newsbiscuit he said "This is a proud moment for the coalition party, I mean government, we have put everything in the one place where it is most accesible for the poor, the needy, the old, the pikey and the lame, J. D. Wetherspoons." "Wetherspoons has demonstrated immense initiative by infilitrating every town in this coutry,turning those fusty old traditional pubs into thriving metropolis' of activity, they are without doubt the pub chain of the people for the people by the people!"
When pressed on how the country wide debate had been presented he quickly left the podium and was last seen rushing into 'The Flea and Parody' in Soho for quick pint of Stella, apparently his wife likes him when he is more aggressive in the bedroom!