God (who appeared to have forgotten the point about forgiveness) has today demanded an inquiry into the theft of the 'Pearly Gates'! St Peter who appeared to be in a terrible and tremulous state claimed that they went missing sometime yesterday but he was too afraid to initially bring it to the immediate attention of God!
"Well, there I was happily checking people in and making sure that those going to purgatory went to purgatory, and those going to hell joined the elevator queue in an orderly fashion, when up rolled a dozen Pikeys demanding to speak to God about tarmacing the front drive." "Of I went to see if HE wanted the drive tarmacing and when I got back the bloody gates had gone!"
When asked if God would forgive the culprits concerned, St Peter responded by saying "There is nothing in the Good Book about forgiving thieving bloody pikey's!"
