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A day late, in part due to an outage the other night that followed a massive ticker download. It kept me busy and hopefully I've captured everything.
We have a leader, by a large margin - Immacagain, who has been very prolific this month. The current leaderboard is posted below, but for a little mor info and access to hyperlinks to the FPs, NiBs and Left Alerts so far this month, follow this link: http://nbwom.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/june-wotm-week-1.html
Two weeks in and immacagain is still well out in front, well done, and setting a lead that looks virtually unassailable. however that shouldn't let anyone hold back from posting subs - who believes in landslide victories these days?
blog post with links to the FP, NiB and Left Alert post can be found here:here
Two weeks in and immacagain is still well out in front, well done, and setting a lead that looks virtually unassailable. however that shouldn't let anyone hold back from posting subs - who believes in landslide victories these days?
blog post with links to the FP, NiB and Left Alert post can be found here
Alright! Well, Alright! Alright!
Copyright Neil Kinnock. A man my mum says was a good fella but misguided, especially with the comb-over innit. Anyway like him, it's not all over yet. I've got some really rubbish subs ready to roll as soon as I think of them when I find time between breastfeeding the suckling pigs we'll be BBQing at the weekend.
But thank you ChrisF, Wrenfoe and Titus, and Throngsman for having the kind of brain who can do this numberwang stuff. I love the Biscuit and find a real sense of community here, especially when Titus posts something and everyone spreads the love, or we are informed all the posts on the forum are shite. I am told there's another comedy site called Facebook where there's a sense of belonging -- anyone tried it?
Week3 and there's still a semblance of a competition, more at: http://nbwom.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/june-wotm-week-3.html
Otherwise here's the headlines:
I've just realised I haven't added today's FP, Nib and LA links - will fix that in a day or so (going offline for an operation tomorrow - apologies in advance if I come on ranting tomorrow night - I usually do after a general, but most of you probably wouldn't notice the difference)
I presume you mean on social media? Apparently that was considered some time back but rejected because social media can be distorted by, for example, JOF reposting something that tickles him and going viral. Some writers probably have large social media followings, others probably don't bother much with it. It was also pointed out that subs posted earlier in the month would have greater time to accrue likes than ones posted towards the end of the month.
Ultimately there probably isn't a perfect way of selecting a writer, and to be fair the prize is just a little local kudos and a virtual mug on the top of your avatar. To be near the top of the league you have to be prolific and be writing stuff that the editors like, so it's a kind of reward for keeping the site populated with usable material.
You're doing all the right things - I haven't checked today, but up until today you've had a FP, several NiBs and a Left Alert, so you're helping to keep the front page going. Without a successful front page, we wouldn't have the freedom of the writer's room I guess, and that would be a real shame. Or the other room that we use to insult each other - oh, that appears to be the writer's room too at the moment.
More than considered, it was the system for a while. It replaced the simpler points system. What it also meant was that stories could win WotM if they were picked up for reasons other than just being shared for being funny, e.g. Uncle Bertie's one about Mike Tyson's sex change which somehow got huge coverage as a true story.
The problem with the system where the most popular story (think it was page views rather then FB likes) won WOM was that it let riffraff like me win several times.
I prefer this format, it encourages people to keep putting out content good enough to get published. The other way could see a really popular story early in the month put people off posting for the rest of the month as they would have little chance of winning.
Great work as ever from throngsman keeping track of it all.
Well, with comments from the legendary VCG like that I can only blush and say - here's the final results for this month. As forecasted Immacagain has kept the top spot, despite holding off posting for the last week or so to make it look less embarrassing for the rest of us. Well done Immac, hopefully Techguy will grace your avatar with the well deserved virtual mug some time soon - he's pretty good like that, but it is Friday night and I'm not saying he likes a tipple but.....
Here's a link to the blog with a few more details and, of course, all the hyperlinks to the published FPs and NiBs: http://nbwom.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/june-wotm-final-week.html
Here's a copy of the leaderboard for those who can't be arsed following the link:
And here's a list of all the tickers published this month (I hope - I might miss the odd one, please let me know if I have);
Adrian Bamforth
Peter Sallis’ funeral ends in comedy bathtub chase. More soon.
Al Opecia
David Davis reports Brexit talks got off to a promising retreat. More soon
May announces £5M for Grenfell victims left over from savings on sprinklers. More soon.
May returns faulty Strȯnguns Table to IKEA. More soon.
May still trapped inside paper bag. More soon.
Apepper
Southern rail to be twinned with British Airways.
Beau-Jolly
Supergrass admits 200 terror offences, including 5 murders and 6 albums
Beckfordburger
Abbexit. More soon.
COBRA meeting delayed while cleaners remove the elephant shit. More soon.
Blacklesbianandproudofit
Man who rejected forecourt service at petrol station only fuelling himself. More soon.
Police suspect Finsbury Park terrorist of being Dai-ish
Entire cast of Casualty to be treated for post dramatic shlock
Cinquecento
Beats International featuring MC May release remix “DUP be good to me”
Copycat murderer ‘not a real white van man’ say white van man community leaders
Daniel Day-Lewis goes Method for 2023 film about a retired actor
Darren’s ‘Fencing & Decking of Brentford’ awarded ‘Post Structuralist of the Year’. More soon.
DUP give Tories aluminium-clad guarantee of support. More soon
Forced circumcision case ‘is just the tip’. More soon
Man changes his vote after carefully reading friends' Facebook rants
Crayon
Kensington & Chelsea Council’s lawyers prepare for magic money tree harvest
May states her position on EU pollution laws: "No air is better than a bad air"
Starbucks unveils its new Ice Crappercino. More soon
Chrisf
All the double babies, all the double babies
Constructive Brexit negotiations over amount and frequency of mud slinging. More soon
Judge serves cross court volley to Boris Becker
Theresa May to spend weekend building Flat Pact government. More soon.
DavidH
Brewery share prices soar in anticipation of driverless cars
Brexit lawyers told to bring games in to work. More soon.
Brexit negotiations to open Monday with a week of icebreaker exercises. More soon
Britain poised for seven minute window when temperature will be ‘just right
Despite recent car crash, Hammond still Chancellor. More soon.
Didgerididn't?.
Doubts remain over HS2 journey times as Stannah becomes latest bidder
May: ‘I got us into government – I’ll get us out’. More soon.
May on 7p breakfast plans: “what use is a fat chimney sweep?”
Ominous sign as Paul Nuttal’s suit of armour appears on eBay. More soon.
OPEC merchandise price rises after Qatarist leaves the group More soon.
Paul Nuttall considering one year transfer deal at Lib Dems. More soon.
Prince Harry to be judge on ‘Rex Factor’
Social media would have 'put a stop' to Sex Pistols but not sex or pistols.
Spontaneous bending of Bananas and Cucumbers ‘probably’ due to heat. More soon
Taxi for Kalanick! More soon
Team Brexit unnerve EU negotiators before talks by performing a ‘Maybot’ Haka
Theresa May to star with Tom Cruise in Top Gurn 2.
Deceangli
Pedants rejoice at hanged Parliament. More soon.
Deskpilot3
Starbucks to install motion detectors. More soon
Dick Everyman
Macron tells May, ‘Un oeuf est un oeuf’. More soon.
Dodderer
Cambridgeshire police seek owner of a stick with an 'orses 'ead 'andle. More soon.
Dominic_mcg
After a packet of Lockets Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and Egypt Cut Ties With Catarrh.
Dyslexic Scots rejoice as disgraced surgeon jailed. More soon.
Eyebrows raised after demise of Kohl. More soon.. More soon.
Historians pinpoint the exact minute that America was great. More soon.
Man finally twigs that all his Fathers’ Day gifts are for doing jobs. More soon.
Man gets new identity and a bible in Jehovah’s Witness Protection Programme. More soon.
Vin Diesel denies he’s changing his name to Vin Plug-in Hybrid. More soon.
Farmer Giles
Terrorists surrender after hearing Liam Gallagher ‘sing’. More soon.
FlashArry
Southern Rail musical replaced by emergency busking service. more soon.
Gerontius
Homophobic, misogynist, death penalty climate deniers refuse to sit next to Gove. More soon.
Turd polishing harder than it looks admits May. More soon.
Harrypalmer
Tiger Woods considers getting new driver.
Immacagain
‘Magic Money Tree’ killed by US emissions rise. More soon.
Theresa May’s battle bus is among 69 routes cut by cash-strapped county council. More soon.
Theresa May refuses to let next generation inherit debt. Or a house. More soon.
Voters disappointed when Corbyn refuses to be first to destroy world with nukes. More soon.
Ironduke
Beware the ideas of May. More soon.
Landfill
Cash defeats Becker
MADJEZ
COBRA meeting room running low on biscuits & teabags. More soon.
Maveric
Man leaving office on rainy day has 5 o’clock chapeau.
Maxine Jones
America doesn't need planet' says Trump. More soon.
Arlene Foster offers May discounted power-sharing classes. More soon
In latest U-turn May joins I.S. More soon.
May refuses to mass-debate in public.
No one will put limits on the amount of hot air I can produce,' says Trump. More soon.
Snowy icecaps turn brown as Penguins melt
Trump wins prize at Chelsea Flower show for top Narcissus.
Mick Turate
Andy Murray’s nationality up for annual review. More soon.
Nigel Farage denies that anybody is interested in him.
President Trump reveals Twitter password by mistake.
Tw@t points out that the nights are now starting to draw in.
UKIP changes its name to United Kingdom Internment Party.
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
Magic money tree only exists in Northern Ireland. More soon
Schrödinger’s Tory says people earning £80,000 a year aren’t rich but anyone spending £250 on a ticket to Glastonbury is. More soon
Terrorist-loving Tories create coalition of chaos, Dail Mail somehow doesn’t say. More soon
NotNowCato
Anger as defective Pelican Crossing makes villages cross. More soon.
Startup company for chewing gum removal need help getting it off the ground. More soon.
UKs oldest flasher decides to stick it out for another year
Oxbridge
Brian Cant goes through the arch window.
Farron resigns to spend more time with his delusions. More soon.
May to pursue ‘Andrex Brexit': soft, strong and very long. More soon
RSPCA called in as May shoots herself in the kitten heels again, More soon
Prime Mover
Theresa May increases unemployment benefit – for Tory ex-MPs. More soon.
Ramblesid
Disappointment as Brexit talks drag on for another day. More soon
Smart Alex
Man feels alone in the universe since crop circles no longer in the news
Manufacturer of high quality tar products has perfect pitch.
Police confirm star of one-person show was acting alone.
ron cawleyoni
Black Rod injured dashing to Corals on roller blades to put bet on for old lady.
Brewery share prices soar in anticipation of driverless cars
Stag party bookings to Rome down this year due to a lack of Totti.
Ronseal
World not laughing at Trump, but ice caps cracking up.
Smart Alex
Scottish ramblers pleased at not having to pay roaming in the gloaming charges. More soon.
sydalg
Google claims copyright over pedestrians as “carless drivers”. More soon
Tories investigate reports of 'left-wing boas' at London Zoo. More soon.
Throngsman
BA claim Heathrow back to normal. Just chaos now.
Grayling: DUP support will finally drag Tories into Seventeenth Century
Nazis distance themselves from Katie Hopkins.
Sky ‘not surprised’ at Karen Bradley’s decision, having hacked her phone. More soon
Tories running out of feet to shoot at. More soon.
Trump running 'hot and cold' over climate change.
World's youngest Spelling Bee contestant 'dissqwalifyed'.
Titus
10:01pm Thursday June 8th man suddenly remembers what he intended to do today
Australians concerned as Corbyn threatens to end ‘Oz Territory’. More soon.
BA considers bringing its IT back 'In-House' but outsourcing its chairmanship. More soon.
Google search for ‘Dodgy company fined £2 billion’ has no hits. More soon
Moderates calls for ‘ten minutes of tutting’ in place of Day of Rage. More soon
NASA Sun Probe to go at night to prevent overheating.
Pollsters Reduce Threat Of Tory Government From 'Critical' To 'Severe'.
Tories call for voting age to be raised to 21. More soon.
Tory confusion on tax for Hard-Working People vs Ordinary Working People. More soon.
UKIP conflicted by calls for deportation of all ‘White Van Men’. More soon.
Titus & Mick Turate
Paddington author told ‘No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die’. More soon
Underconstruction
Ballot papers to include ‘Lucky Dip’ option. More soon.
MI5 to cover weekends in bid to combat terrorist threat. More soon.
Polling Stations to double as village halls. More soon.
UrNikko1965
Election Dysfunction causes Premier Ejaculation. More soon.
Wrenfoe
May ‘would’ use nukes…but would change her mind 5 minutes later. More soon.
YaBasta
American pop stars move to Manchester en masse because they love it so much. More soon.
Congratulations Immacagain.
With a wave of my wand and a *poof* sound which would be frowned upon in the DUP, the WOM mug is transferred to you head. Wear it well !
Thank you TechGuy, Sinnick and Wrenfoe and all Biscuiteers, especially Throngsman for his adept manipulation of the abacus. So much talent on the site: this is an honour. Just got back from a last minute break in Tenerife while the kids are still young enough to be taken on holiday without their parents being arrested for ruining their education - far better that the government does that.
Thanks all. Very much appreciated.
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