It has been confirmed that the new baby daughter of Samantha and David Cameron has passed its CGSE Mathematics with a creditable B grade.
As is customary in the upper echelons of society, the new arrival was entered for the examination by the Cameron’s midwife at their first 12 week scan at the same time as its name was put down for public school. The formative child sat her GCSE in May, answering the questions with a series of kicks from the inside of Samantha Cameron’s womb.
One day old baby Cameron’s success was hailed by Education Secretary Michael Gove as ‘vindication of everything the coalition had been working towards’. Side stepping suggestions that the result was further evidence of dumbing down of examination standards, Mr Gove said young Cameron was ‘highly intelligent and was already demonstrating an amazing grasp of things such as proffered fingers and nibbles.’
Education chiefs admitted that it was unusual for a child without a name to be allowed to sit their CGSEs, but they could see no real problems as the Camerons have promised to correct this by choosing a name as soon as possible. It is thought that the baby will be given a name with West County associations, having been born whilst her parents were holidaying in Cornwall. Current favourites with the bookies include Jethrophine, Pastie and Oggie.
A proud David Cameron spoke to reporters outside the Truro hospital where the delivery of the examination results took place. ‘We are absolutely thrilled. Whilst we don’t want to pressurise her in any way, we are keen for her get A-levels out of the way next year so that she can be free to concentrate on her political career and replace George Osborne before the next election.’