The Department for Health have announced that all myxomatosis wards, in which patients have to share their bed with a diseased rabbit, are to be scrapped.
'This sort of thing has been going on for far too long,' said Health Secretary Andrew Lansley, 'nobody wants the indignity of being stuck in a ward full of sick, blind rabbits.’
Myxamatosis wards date back to the 1970s when it was commonplace for rabbits to be brought into hospital to cheer up the patients by hopping gaily about the place. However, before long, the rabbits became ill and began taking up much needed bed space.
‘We couldn’t give over a whole bed to a single rabbit,’ said one matron, ‘that would just be ridiculous. So we made them share with the human patients. It seemed like a good idea at the time and some of them went on to form lasting relationships.’
The government have now promised to move the rabbits on to new wards. ‘Of course we are still committed to providing proper health care to Flopsy, Mopsy and Cotton-tail,’ said Mr Lansley, ‘just don’t tell them they will now have to share with the weasels.’