The Provisional RSPCA has accepted responsibility for its latest act in a long running suburban terror campaign.
The para military animal rights army, funded by well meaning but misguided individuals whose knowledge of the conflict is informed by films that romanticise their cause, is now thought to be more powerful than ever. Now it has pledged to back more outrages by the gang known as The Grey Squirrels.
Britain's Police force has admitted it is powerless to stop the RSPCA, and in some cases even aids and abets the terror group as it hauls 'suspects' in for extraordinary renditions.
'For every one drowned squirrel, expect us to ruin ten lives,' said a spokesman for the Provisional RSPCA.
Tension between Britain's two communities - the Reds and the Greys - has been simmering for years. But with backing form the RSPCA, the greys have become more aggressive as belief becomes widespread that greys are untouchable.
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Squirrel cell that destroyed electricity supply was backed by Provisional RSPCA
(17 posts) (10 voices)
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StoopyDeGunt
offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberAnything about squirrels gets my vote, especially when it's a funny, well written sub like this.
Posted 2 years ago # -
StoopyDeGunt
offlineMembercheers
Here's a new version:
The Provisional RSPCA has accepted responsibility for its latest act in a long running suburban terror campaign.
Last week police reportedly stood by, powerless to act, while uniformed insurgents stormed a man’s house and led him away for interrogation. Some locals later claimed that the man’s nuts had been nibbled, his begonias trampled on and his cable chewed right through.
It’s no secret that the police have now yielded control in many regions of rural Britain to the provisional RSPCA.
Yesterday, the troubles took a new turn, when power supplies to many houses in Cambridge were cut off. Investigators found that power cables for an entire street had been chewed in half, in an act of sabotage in which one fanatical squirrel gave his life.
After an anonymous phone call – taking credit for the act of terror – was traced to the headquarters of the RSPCA, the shadowy organisation was finally forced to admit it is the political wing of rogue terror cell calling themselves the Grey Squirrels. Opponents have dubbed the aggressive nibblers the Tree Rats.
According to reports from the Special Branch, the para military animal rights army is funded by well meaning but misguided individuals. Many supporters of the RSPCA are members of GNAW-AID, who tend to take a romantic view of their rodent’s cause. Indeed, their knowledge of the conflict is informed by films that glamourise their cause, and gloss over the terror tactics such as Nut Nibbling. GNAW AID has even pledged to back more outrages by the gang known as The Grey Squirrels, in what's been dubbed Operation Out On A Limb.
Britain's Police force has admitted it is powerless to stop the RSPCA, and in some cases even aids and abets the terror group as it hauls 'suspects' in for extraordinary renditions.
'For every one drowned squirrel, expect us to ruin ten lives,' said a spokesman for the Provisional RSPCA.
Tension between Britain's two communities - the indigenous Reds and the more aggressive Greys - has been simmering for years. But with backing from the RSPCA, the greys have become more aggressive as belief becomes widespread that greys are untouchable.
Recently, the RSPCA has shown signs of branching out into new ventures in search of funds. In Brixton, according to the South London Press, squirrels have become involved in the drug trade with some becoming addicted to crack, while others have ‘gone legit’ by branching into showbiz and children’s book publishing.
‘They’re fanatical, incredibly well organised and breed like rabbits,’ said one intelligence officer. ‘The squirrels aren’t much better.’Posted 2 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberAs the founding father of Squirrel Licking, I am delighted that reisler still keeps an interest in the extreme version of the sport.
Posted 2 years ago #
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