Rumours spread like cancer across the internet today when it was announced that Billy Connolly was to be given The Freedom of the City of Glasgow. Many speculated that this was a demonstration of leniency by the Scottish Parliament, and that this confirmed suspicions about the scottish japester having arse cancer just like Abdelbasset Ali al-Megrahi, who was awarded with Freedom for just the same reason!
Kenny MacAskill, the Scottish Justice Minister said there was absolutely no comparison between the two cases, as far as he knew Glasgow had followed out entirely the correct procedures in the case of Billy Connolly. He said "Billy is a deserving recepient of Freedom from Glasgow, as anyone who has lived there will tell you, to get out is an enormous relief!"
Dr Fraser, Scotlands most eminent and respected proctologist,on the other hand was ambushed by press outside his Edinburgh, Morningside orifices. Caught off-side he stammered "I have never seen Mr Connolly's arsehole and have no desire to do so I can assure you!" Which simply adds more fuel to the fire as to whether or not he actually saw Abdelbasset Ali al-Megrahi's arsehole or not? We shall no doubt see!