Following recent concerns from soldiers in Afghanistan the Ministry of Defence has demonstrated their willingness to ensure they have the best equipment possible. Within days all front-line troops will be in receipt of the newly developed, state of the art 'Anti-Ball-istic Universal Underpant'!
The concern from soldiers on the ground was voiced openly to David Cameron on his recent visit to the region. Many soldiers stated matter of factly that they were proud of their achievements and accepted that there were risks inherent within their jobs. However, many pointed out that their biggest fear was losing their tackle in some IED or similar type of attack.
A spokesperson for the Aghanistan based troops, Lt Col David Fielding put it like this "Our soldiers are brave and in many ways pragmatic individuals, they face up to the reality of war and understand that they may lose limbs, which is of course very tragic!" "But with the technology being developed and implemented personal protection equipment is becoming better every day, but soldiers like all men everywhere were increasingly concerned about losing their most important bits." "This rapid acceptance of this fear and the quick response to address it is indeed a relief and will give our soldiers greater confidence, the MOD and the Government are to be applauded."
We asked Private Wilson of the Devon & Dorset Regiment what he thought of the new bit of kit. "They are great, a little heavy and they chaffe a bit, but as long as my crown jewels are protected who cares, my wife is well chuffed" "The best bit is that they are elasticated so fit every one thin or big and fat, my favourite are the blue ones with the interchangeable yellow gusset."