Dear Ex-shag, Many thanks for the delightfully surprising invitation to your wedding, it really raised a smile to know that you still think of me. Believe me when I tell you that I don't have much to smile about these days, when you don't have many teeth left and the disease has ravaged your facial features its generally best not to smile at all. Passersby find it rather disturbing you know.
Anyway, back to the Wedding. I am afraid, despite holding a fond place for you in my heart that I will not be able to attend. The drugs kind of work, and on good days I can walk a few steps, but generally I am not much fun to be around. I hope you understand?
Please find enclosed an invitation to my forth coming funeral, which will be held at the Terrence Higgins Trust Congregational Church in the next few months it is hoped. Also I have enclosed a copy of my test results, which technically I should have shared with you before we engaged in no holds barred bottom sex all those years ago.
Enjoy the wedding and best wishes to your darling bride. Hope you enjoy the die cast metal Zeppelin which will hopefully remind you of that night night when you made me go down on you like a white slave..