You turn your back for a day or two and when I return I am greeted by two virtual women having a snog on the Chat board. Jen, Stunts, is this you drumming up a bit of extra business? Or has the site finally given in to its baser tendencies and dropped the satire front entirely? Clearly I have been gone too long... so how is everybody?
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Bloody hellfire...
(34 posts) (10 voices)
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The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberIf only I were as perfectly drawn in real life Maz. It's the ring kissing that disturbs me *shudder*.
All well-ish here, still terminally skint, and have been quiet on the NB front as I am currently selling everything not nailed down and some things which are on ebay. I have to keep hiding my good watch from the increasingly stressed Mr B. He's actually toying with the idea of selling part of our land as we recently discovered we could get £250k for less than a 1/4 of an acre! I, however, could do without living on a building site for the second time in my life and am considering prostitution as a suitable alternative.
How's all chez Maz? Spud must be kicking merry hell out of you by now. Btw, is it strawberry or blueberry flavour?
Hugs to all at Maz Towers. xPosted 3 years ago # -
Mary Evans
offlineMemberAll very well here, thanks. Am indeed being thoroughly booted by the recently revealed new Miss Mary. This has prompted Master Mary to tell the world "I'm having a baby sister. Not the old one. A new one". At the scan, we were just conjecturing what gender we were expecting, when madam duly obliged, turned bum up and left even the untrained eye in little doubt as to what flavour she was... This prompted her father to comment "mother's daughter". And prompted her mother to comment "Or maybe like her father. If we knew who he was". We laughed. The sonographer didn't.
In other news, script is finished, along with lyrics to 22 numbers and has been duly delivered. "House Wives" will be premiering at - wait for it - the Southend Festival on 8th June for three nights and is bound for the Edinburgh Festival next year. Has already led to another commission, thus my protracted absence from the new One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest boards.
But the original Miss Mary is painting the kitchen a whiter shade of Petit Filous, so must dash. We are off to EuroDisney this weekend, so she has duly come down with chicken pox just in time to be spotty for her Mickey Mouse kodak moment. We are anticipating her brother to erupt in spots any day - I have dreadful images of the poor child being mentally scarred forever when Buzz Lightyear refuses to give his spotty bonce a cuddle...
Hope all well with all - much love,
MxxxxxxPosted 3 years ago # -
allmyownstunts
offlineMemberHow much for Mr B, Jen? I've seen the photo, remember...
Will anyone be organising a nice coach trip to Southend when the weather gets nicer, to take in a show? (Last time I went on a bus trip everyone got so pissed on the way home people were still buying raffle tickets, hours after the draw had taken place.) I hear the new Mary Evans is out and early reviews are in and positively orgasmic. All together now: "the back o' the bus they cannae sing, cannae sing, cannae sing..."
Jeni, Jammy, me and anyone else of the Celtic persuasion might have to wait until Edinburgh but if you could kindly post up the lyrics here, Mary, we can make sure we're note-perfect by then.
HOW exciting is that? Almost as exciting as expecting a little girl, that's how exciting!
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberAll realistic offers considered stunts. I must admit that although for the past 16yrs there has been one careful lady owner, there were numerous test drivers prior to that.
The upholstery is not as firm as it once was, with sagging and paunching becoming prevalent. The exterior body work is in fairly good condition for an early 1969 plate, but as is common with models of this age, the roof lining is wearing a little thin, and the colour is not what it used to be. There are some fine line cracking in the fascia, with two or three deep grooves which I believe are caused either by fatigue or stress. The tyres are roadworthy although can emit a slight odour when warm, the exhaust is prone to belching out noxious fumes after the tank is filled, and when left idling too long, can make irritating snorting sounds.
I've been generally happy with the day to day running, always reliable for a good piss-up and laugh, not always as reliable for getting home when it should.
Ideal for a trip to designer shoe shops, but will NOT hold your handbag.
Any offers?And FAB, FAB, FAB news about the impending LMM Pt2. So happy for you Maz, but be careful as a pregnant lady around Chickenpox ridden off-spring, can be very serious. Believe me, I know, as I think I've told you.
Yep, think there will have to be a Celtic Convoy to the E'nbruh showing, beware of drunk Scots (Jammy, you're as near as damn it, through location and parentage)singing loudly but badly in the audience, especially those who keep shouting for either Maz or Vince.
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberDepends what's on the cassettes. Were they recorded from the Sunday evening chart show?
xxxPosted 3 years ago # -
allmyownstunts
offlineMemberOh, now you've got me all choked up - my super-crackly version of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's 'Power of Love', complete with Mike Read chopping off either end, DEFINED my first year in Pollock Halls in Edinburgh - 3am, the worse for Liebfraumilch and Blue Bols and lemonade, weeping, knowing that nobody else on the planet was having, like, such a meaningful, important time, like...
OF COURSE they're recorded off the Sunday night chart show! And I think I'll keep them. Can I still have Mr B for the futon?
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberNow stunts, can you just clarify that point for me? Do you want Mr B in exchange for the futon, or are you planning on using the futon with Mr B?
He has just promised to take me for a meal next week, so there may be a delay in completing. If I decide to accept your offer.
Posted 3 years ago # -
allmyownstunts
offlineMemberOoh, are you celebrating anything? There are no secrets on NB, you know. I'm going to a Spa next week - Christmas present from mum. Been looking through the list of 'treatments' (shudder) and none contains the word 'miracle'. Lots about 'wellbeing' though.
Tell Mr B he's safe in your tender care. What would I do with TWO rippling hunks in the house?(off to think this through)
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberOooh! A Spa day, I remember when we had the money for such luxuries, nowadays I have to make do with a handful of sugar and olive oil as an exfoliating scrub. No special occasion, just that he gets paid next Friday, and that we haven't had a night out with just the two of us since his birthday back in January. And he'll have to take me out at the start of May too, as I will be entering the last year of my 30s.
I've been dropping lots of hints as to what I'd like for my birthday; liposuction, botox and a new puppy (singular, and canine as opposed to 'puppies' as a euphemism).
I'll probably get a night out and a DVD though.I can certainly make a few suggestions as to what can be done with two hunks, but perhaps now is not the time to make them.
Posted 3 years ago # -
Mary Evans
offlineMemberIt would be amazing... one could load the dishwasher while the other put up shelves...
If we're into horsetrading husbands, could I put Mr Mary forward on a timeshare arrangement. The man's a keeper, but I'd happily hire him out for cooking, cleaning and a little light stud duty...
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberPerhaps we can organise some kind of Husband Barter System? Mr B is good with cars, DIY (including bricklaying, tiling, shelf-putting uping, knot-tying, and 1001 uses of cable ties). He is useless at anything which he considers "too domestic" which covers all cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, and picking up after himself.
Stunts, what can Mr Stunts offer?Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberI reckon that if we can combine the three of them, we might have one, perfect man.
Right, who's got the copy of "Dr Frank N Stein's Handy Hints"?
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberOh, and by the way ladies, have just taken the first faltering steps to returning to full-time education. Can't decided between Law or English though. Any suggestions?
Posted 3 years ago # -
Mary Evans
offlineMemberHey - good for you missus. English is my great love (after Face from the A-Team), but Law is probably far more useful and actually earns you money. Are you studying for pleasure or career prospects? Once you've decided that, then I think it's an easier decision. Although now I'll make it harder by saying I really think you should consider returning to your journalistic aspirations...
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberDecisions decisions!! John Square, thanks for that. I'll take it on board and try to avoid undertaking a course in Fish Dangling.
The dilemma is that I originally wanted to do English back when I was at school, but circumstances at that time intervened and I had to fore go study.
After I completed my HND, I had a deferred place to study English, but again, circumstances buggered up my plans. Part of the HND encompassed Law, but only an overview and really just it's relevance to journalism. This did spark an interest though, which I've sort of pursued on and off.
So, 16 years later, with a number of crappy jobs behind me, a ten year old who is now not so reliant on me, and the need to not only make some decent money but to also prove to myself that I do have a brain.
With Law, I have a friend who is a partner in a local firm, and who has guaranteed me a placement for my two years Legal Practice. I also spoke to her Senior Partner at the weekend, and he was very positive about my potential. Especially as I don't particularly want to specialise in Criminal or Conveyancing Law, but Employment Law, which apparently, very few people want to do. The benefit of that too, is that Mr B can spend thousands of pounds every year employing a team of Solicitors to represent his company, so could effectively employ me in a consultancy role on an Ad Hoc basis.With English, I'd be fulfilling a dream, especially as it would give me an excuse to have my nose in a book even more often than I do now.
As I say, decisions, decisions.
Posted 3 years ago # -
John Square
offlineMemberLaw gets you money, and is there any reason to turn a love of a subject (english) into something that could be a chore (a degree in english)?
I only add this as I did my degree in something that I didn't hold any affection for, and seemed to do OK with it, wheras many of my peers did things they loved only to be utterly turned off the subjects because of the way they were taught/the syllabus/etc.
IIRC, the first year of ENglish at Cambridge is all archaic language, and it is- by all accounts- utterly tedious.
Posted 3 years ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberJS, I love the fact that you mention studying English at Cambridge in connection with me. It'll be good old Dundee Uni for me, and I'll be grateful for it!
If I decide to do Law, there are two local Unis I could apply to, Dundee and Abertay,.
Both have very good reputations, but Abertay is right behind the young master's school, so might score points on convenience as there is no difference between the two Unis in terms of course.
Plucky, I am passionate about both subjects, but am leaning slightly towards Law. Partly because I've had too many experiences of seeing the little man squashed by the big man over the years and hate that sense of powerlessness.Posted 3 years ago #
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