Stalkers nationwide are hanging up their raincoats and putting the binoculars and ski mask’s away.
With the explosion of communication social network sites they are no longer required to be in tip top physical condition such as their predecessors ,now they can launch menacing emails or start a viral campaign against the object of their infatuation from their command centre which coincidentally is also frequently referred to by other members of his or her family as the ‘ back bedroom ‘.
Looking inconspicuous standing on street corners is a thing of the past as
weather beaten pensioner and one time stalker Gerald Atkins explains, ‘Kids these days are just bloody amateurs no one doe’s it like they did in my day, these youngsters in the game today are just sat in front of a computer 24/7 eating and drinking crap and chasing their intended victim through the matrix, in my day you had to be out in all weathers perched on building tops with binoculars negotiating cross winds, in the rain tippy toeing down alleyways, looking through letterboxes', donning disguises, driving all over the country behind the intended occasionally dodging oncoming traffic your heart beating out of your chest, and unlike today you’d always get the payoff when you get to see the horror on the intended’s face when she realised you were within striking distance, but not anymore that’s a thing of the past'.
Gerald goes on to say they are loosing the art of intimidation, sending someone an anonymous email doesn’t compare to cutting someone’s telephone line and hanging perilously from the victims bedroom window ledge in a thunderstorm with ‘I love you bitch ‘ tattooed on your soaking wet face hard pressed against the bedroom window.
These lads need to get out more and get a life he concludes.