US seizes control of entire back garden paddling pool
In a coordinated attack, the US military has taken full and complete control of a small inflatable unicorn. White House officials in...
Maxwell imprisoned for sex trafficking to no one
It has been revealed that the Epstein client list never existed. Jimmy Saville was a harmless DJ. And Prince Andrew just likes paying...
‘Epstein had no clients’ and ‘Kennedy committed suicide’, say FBI
The FBI has published its long-awaited report into paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, concluding that he didn’t have a client list and that...
Palestine Action Man to be removed from shelves
This summer's hit new toy, Palestine Action Man, is being removed from sale across the UK following a Home Office ban. The plastic figure...
Why those MAGA baseball caps are so popular
We’re all heartily fed up with seeing Donald Trump in his baseball caps with assorted children slogans on, right? In England, we got fed...
Jeremy Corbyn founds People’s Front of Islington
Jeremy Corbyn announced today that, along with Zarah Sultana, he will be forming a new left-wing political party, provisionally named the...
Hamas agree to rebuild, as IDF has nothing to bomb
A possible ceasefire will allow Hamas to create rudimentary houses and respawn the dead. Said one bored IDF General: 'We've got all these...
Low risk prisoners will provide social care
The Government says that prisoners will replace immigrants in providing social care. Visas for foreign care workers are being scrapped....
Matt Hancock is possibly the victim, not the villain
As the Covid Inquiry rolls into it's eighty-third year, give or take, Matt Hancock takes the stand for the umpteenth time. Yes, of...
Trump threatens everyone except a Basingstoke man
A Hampshire man named Brian Miller is thought to be the only human on the entire planet yet to be threatened by US President Donald...
