In a move that will radically affect how we manage and spend our money, the UK banking authorities have announced that the use of Czechs is to be phased out by 2018. Immigration manager for the Bank of England explained “initially they were seen as a cost effective means to operate. However, with EU Enlargement alternatives have become available that are proving surprisingly efficient”. Czechoslovakian authorities immediately responded by expelling the British Consul, only to discover that he had actually been out of the country “on holiday” for the last 23 years anyway.
Help the Aged have expressed their disappointment with the decision to force such a change on the public without consultation. They highlight the increasing problems with recently introduced technologies being taken literally by the older generations. Last month alone there have been two reported cases where pensioners have been severely electrocuted when sticking pins into “these electronic calculators left at supermarket checkouts”.