Buckingham Palace announced today that the Queen has decided to begin the phased handover of her reign to the Prince of Wales from 1st April 2017. Prince Charles immediately issued a statement that he was "Absolutely delighted."
However, when further details of the handover were published, it became clear that the 90 year old monarch, true to her belief in homoeopathy, was only actually relinquishing one trillionth of her royal duties every year.
Prince Charles was rumoured to be less than delighted with this news, muttering "the old bat will probably live to be a trillion too, but I'm buggered if I can wait that long."