The Daily Blores reports today that respected Cleric and spiritual leader Mohamed Shajhani has launced a legal case against the company behind Richmond Sausages, Kerry Foods today. He claims that he accidentally ate a whole packet before realising that they were actually made of pork, which is taboo as a muslim.
"I had watched the advert many times between episodes of Coronation Street and often felt my mouth watering and my heart strings twanging at the emotional images of people travelling long distances to get home to their mums." "The advert used the same line as the packaging 'The Taste of Home' so naturally I thought it woud taste of kebab, schwarma, stuffed vine leaves and similar as the packaging and the advertisement promised!"
Mr Shajhani went on to explain "It may seem absurd but as a practising muslim I have never even knowingly looked at a sausage, let alone eat one!" "It never occured to me that the succulent steaming item on my plate could be a sausage, it never mentioned anything about sausages in the advert!" "I assure you, if you have never seen something how do you know what it looks like, a similar thing happened at boreding school in my formative years, until then I had never come across bottom sex either I can assure you!"
Kerry Foods declined to comment but did release a statement as follows 'Kerry Foods will fight this ridiculous legal complaint rigorously. It is evident from our initial investigations that this man is a charlatan who is known for these kinds of errors in regards to his behaviour and religious vigour. How can a man not know what a sausage looks like, even Spit the Dog knows what a sausage looks like!'