Embarrassed officials tried to conceal that the closure and evacuation of Lourdes on one of its busiest days of the year, was the fault of Tony Blair's book launch planner. After getting drunk, he apparently went to Gatwick and mistakenly booked a flight to 'House of Lourdes' with an entourage of confused but obedient security officers. Once there he proceeded to close the area 'in preparation for Tony Blair's book launch'.
"It was either that," one of the security guards said with a shrug, "or he'd piss in the fountain and start a REAL international incident."
(No offense meant, don't sue me.)