Migrants are concerned that visits by well meaning UK celebs, such as Lily Allen, are really secret reconaissance missions to view the area at different times of the day before purchasing property in the area.
The Jungle started out as scrub land and migrants slept on the ground using cardboard to protect them from the cold. Over time, the migrants made a home for themselves and even opening up businesses to cater for themselves.
It was only when Starbucks, Greggs started to muscle in on their turf and Hipster's started hanging around, did the migrants get concerned. Abdullah, from Afghanistan, said "we came here looking for opportunities to better our lives, for our families. And then, these capitalist bastards start coming here, pushing us out of this area that has become our home."
Lily Allen was, reportedly, looking for a 2 up, 2 down renovation project that she could sell on for a profit. Denying, this accusation, she said crying "That's a lie! I came here with Tarquin, who just happens to be my architect, on a mission to improve the area for the next generation of residents."
*Note to other writers
I'm not sure how to proceed with this story idea. Any ideas on re-write, jokes, other angles, are welcome. Thus I'm interested to see how this cooperative topic goes.
