The World Health Organisation has today announced it's concern over the severe lack of any serious, life threatening pandemics since the Swine Flu fiasco ended some time ago.
Margaret Chan, the Director-General of WHO, said in a statement to papers today: "We're very concerned about this apparent lack of any truly terrifying diseases at the moment. We've just recently had Swine Flu, before that there was Bird Flu, and the list goes on. For us to continue as a species, we need a scary pandemic to frighten every gormless gonad witless for miles around. To be perfectly honest, we're all just crossing our fingers for when we do get another one. At least then we'll have something to talk about other than last weeks Telly and who ate the last Chocolate Digestives."
There are currently talks in place over whether to say there is a deadly virus on the loose just to see what people's reactions will be. Barrack Obama has been in recent UN summits to discuss whether or not they should tell the general American populus that a new, un-forseen super virus has been discovered and is currently spreading through the western hemisphere. "Granted, there may not be an actual virus," said Mr Obama, "but it'll really funny just to see people flapping about over nothing." Mr Obama then realised he was on camera saying this and promptly stopped talking.
Conspiracy Theory groups are currently trying to contradict WHO's belief of a lack of pandemics, saying that the British government have been developing a disease that will affect thousands of people around the country. According to anonymous sources, this disease is called 'Man Flu', and could potentially cause non-existent headaches, faked sickness and severe skiving in all males over 20.