As newspapers die out, scientists have estimated that The Daily Mail might have as little as five years of comfort to provide for Britain.
This could have devastating effects for the two opposing factions of British society. One camp, populated by estate agents, banking compliance officers and members of the Women's Institute, huddles round the Daily Mail for warmth and takes great solace in the wisdom of Richard Littlejohn.
The other camp, whose subscribers are typically students, teachers, public sector layabouts and BBC employees, also takes great comfort from the Daily Mail, and would be secretly devastated if and when it were to die out. 'It's enormously comforting to know that all the problems of the world can be blamed on a mid market tabloid newspaper read by less than one per cent of the population,' says one expert on sustainability. 'But without the Daily Mail, who can we blame for problems like racism and poverty?'
Some fear that, without the Daily Mail to blame for all that is rotten in Britain, a new round of blame storming could break out. Already a rumour that people might have to start thinking for themselves caused panic in Surrey, and there were reports of torch bearing mobs roaming though council buildings, looking for a scapegoat, which were only pacified by the presence of the 10:30 tea trolley.
Psychology experts say unless a new focus of psychological projection emerges soon, Britain could be in serious trouble. But a site like this takes years to build.
'This is all Gordon Brown's fault,' said one estate agent.
Nonsense, countered a BBC newsreader, who argued that the problem, like many others, could be attributed to Margaret Thatcher. 'And you'd know that, if you didn't read the Daily bloody Mail.'
Panic as supply of Daily Mail run low - enough warmth for just five more years
(2 posts) (2 voices)
As newspapers die out, scientists have estimated that The Daily Mail might have as little as five years of comfort to provide for Britain.Posted 3 years ago #
Let me be the first to say take stars.Posted 3 years ago #
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