Following Sainsbury's lead in banning a customer from all its stores, Consumer advice websites have been deluged with demands for information on how to get themselves banned from other supermarkets.
"It's as if the floodgates have opened." said a spokesperson from a consumer advice website. "People are asking if there are specific criteria involving loyalty cards only, or would, say, twatting a till-drone in the face do the trick."
"Our advice is to squat on the cheese counter and curl one out in the store of your choice to maximise your chances of really effective UK-wide ban. Simply stabbing a coupon-fumbling pensioner wouldn't even be noticed in Huddersfield, for instance."