A man from Oxfordshire who has been the butt of jokes for several years was vindicated early this morning after receiving a call via his hands-free headset whilst driving. Dennis Tanner, a 45 year old accounts supervisor, was travelling along the A34 when his phone started ringing. “As soon as I heard the Star Trek music I realised that I was in the car and wearing my ultra-light Bluetooth headset,” said Tanner, “this was the moment I had been waiting for.”
Tanner, who lives at home with his mother in Adderbury, has had to endure constant ribbing from workmates about the fact that he constantly has the earpiece attached but never seems to use it. “What’s wrong with being safe on the road?” he said, “it is the idiots who drive with the phone held to their ear that should be made fun of.” Wes Blackwood, who works in sales at the same company as Tanner said, “he’s always got that thing on his ear. It’s embarrassing really as he never gets a call, well until now that is, but he’s still a loser.”
The Bluetooth headset has been around for a number of years but scientists have only recently identified a condition known as Bluetooth separation anxiety disorder. “Tanner is a classic case,” claims Professor Yannis Porphos of the University of Southampton, “here is a man so attached to his headset that he literally cannot remove it through fear of missing a call. We are working on a treatment programme to try to help these people who are terribly afflicted.”
Tanner’s mother Wendy said, “I am really pleased for Dennis, he is over the moon. We always say safety first and he is a good boy who listens to that kind of advice. If only his dad could be here to share in the joy.” Tanner was secretive about the identity of the caller saying, “Actually the funny thing is I was so excited about the call that I knocked the headset off when I tried to answer it. When I managed to pick it up off the floor I was seconds away from a head-on collision with an articulated lorry so had to take evasive action. I am sure they will call back again soon, and I’ll be ready.”
