NewsBiscuit : Lord Prescott denies wearing truss, 2,263 BAA staff who saw it are sacked..

Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten

Lord Prescott denies wearing truss, 2,263 BAA staff who saw it are sacked..

(32 posts) (9 voices)

Started 4 years ago by Sharpehunter
Latest reply from arrghgarry

Current rating::

Tags:

La la la la la....

12 Next »

Sharpehunter

offline
Member

It is alleged that the BAA staff gathered around one of the new X-ray machines at Heathrow Airport when Lord Prescott the Bard, Wit & Venerable Pouch of Hull and Lady Prescott waddled through the machine on their way to take a flight to the summer holiday home in Grimbsy.

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/48616000/jpg/_48616452_m230516-obese_woman,_thermogram-spl.jpg

Apparently the ensuing raucous laughter, and blunt edged jibes caused chaos when Lord Prescott heard them laughing at his visible truss (see attached image link) and was even more outraged to find that his 'little man'(as Lady Pauline refers to it...) was visible for all to see.

The incident has forced BAA to sack with immediate effect a total of 2,263 of their employees for gross-misconduct and say that any correlation between these people having voted for strike action is entirely coincidental.

BAA, spokesperson Walter Mannerhiem spoke to the press this morning "Any allegations that these 2,263 employees are the very same ones who make up the 74.1% of the 50% of our entire workforce who voted yesterday is entirely coincidental, we cannot allow our employees to breach a passengers privacy, even if it does happen to be a fat lazy, two faced, lout from East Yorkshire. That is entirely unacceptable."

Lord Prescott was unavailable for comment, Grimsby being in the arse end of nowhere and as such having no communication links of any kind! His Personal Aide however said from the stately residence in the Ridings of Humberside "I can assure you that there is absolutley nothing wrong with His Lords sack.."

Posted 4 years ago #
Coldstream

offline
Member

this would be much funnier if the picture was visiblty on the post. I used to live in Grimsby, and this is a good description as well.

Posted 4 years ago #
Sharpehunter

offline
Member

I'm posting myself cos I refuse to let this sub drift away into obscurity of page 2.. if its crap then tell me its crap..

Love, the surprisingly sensitive, paranoid and persistent Sharpe

Posted 4 years ago #
Golgo13

offline
Member

I think about 80 to 90% of subs get no significant comment, so on a busy day, they'll be off the front page in about 3 hours.
Some don't even get stars.
This sub has 4 stars, which is equivalent to "Great!", so it's not doing too bad.

[EDIT: just gone down to 3.5 - wasn't me. I'd guess that you might have invited a bit of attention...]
[EDIT2: now it's down to 3...]

Posted 4 years ago #
Sigmund Freud

offline
Member

It's crap. HTH.

Posted 4 years ago #
Sharpehunter

offline
Member

HTH?

Posted 4 years ago #
Sigmund Freud

offline
Member

HTH - "hope that helps"

Posted 4 years ago #
SingingHinny

offline
Member

Please consult the recently compiled rules. Your annual flounce has been used.

This sub is funny, but as Golgo says, somedays you are lucky if things get noticed. I posted the other day and it got one rating then disappeared. Funny thing to say in a forum with a ratings system, but whilst it is nice to get comments etc, you are really writing for yourself. And the editors, obviously. The second you forget that you enter a world of frustration.

Posted 4 years ago #
Golgo13

offline
Member

In the spirit of being constructive, and without wishing to appoint myself as an expert, my thoughts (in no particular order) were that the number was too high to be funny...7 or 8 would be funny. Maybe 15. But 2,263 has never been a funny number, and the internal logic breaks down when you have them crowding round an X-ray scanner.
Also, for me, it lost some focus by trying to link too many things together. Prescott, scanners, BAA strikes, Grimsby. I wasn't sure what your main target was.
And again, only my opinion, but Prescott being overweight is a well-known territory, which is difficult to approach from a new angle, and with Labour no longer in power, you wonder how much more mileage there is in poking fun at him...

Posted 4 years ago #
arrghgarry

offline
Member

DIH Did it help ? surely part of the joke is that the management is using any excuse to get rid of people.

Posted 4 years ago #
arrghgarry

offline
Member

Well I think the photos are worth a five ,but it`s notfunny to take the piss out of　Mo　　Mowlam

Posted 4 years ago #
Sharpehunter

offline
Member

All immensley constructive, and as always typically Golgo and Arrghgarry are bloody hilarious as well..

Thanks all, I'm off to the Inns of Court in Wakefield for a few pints of Hobgoblin.. a very fine beer indeed...

Posted 4 years ago #
Golgo13

offline
Member

Yes! That's probably the best bit, arrghgarry.

Also, if 2,263 is the specific number of people who actually voted for strike action, then of course it is a very funny number and has every right to be in the sub.
[EDIT: Just read the story where that number was mentioned.]

If the point was that BAA were using it as an excuse to get rid of people then best to focus on that angle, and not get too sidetracked by other stuff...

Posted 4 years ago #
rickwestwell

offline
Member

FWIW, I agree with golgo - it's nearly a cracker, but is torn between "John Prescott's a fat bastard" and "funny excuse to sack striking workers". I've also had a bellyfull of Prescott fat jokes, so I'd focus on the strike angle.

That excellent professional advice will cost you one pint of fine English beer, to be paid when I'm next in town. Couple of years, probably.

Posted 4 years ago #
Sharpehunter

offline
Member

The number 2,263 is precisely the number it is believed voted for strike action.. hence the mention, the absurdity of them all standing around an X-ray machine at the same time is to elucidate the nepotistic nature of unions and also the 'gang' mentality. Standing around an X-ray machine is meant to highlight the fact that back in my younger days all the union reps and union members seemed to be more focused on doing nothing as opposed to doing anything profitable or constructive..

John Prescott was the only way to use the image effectively, the minute I saw it I thought of him naked.. (bizarre and scary I know) and the reference to Grimsby was just an adhoc throw away..

The real aspect was the BAA sacking of 2,263 staff...

Rickwestwell and Arrgharry and Golgo the pints are on me...

Posted 4 years ago #
arrghgarry

offline
Member

The number 2263 ,is not a funny number ,but an evil number if you multiply the first two digits by the last digit you have the sign of the devil.

Posted 4 years ago #
Sigmund Freud

offline
Member

22 X 3 is 66. The number of the devil is 616 because QI said so. John Prescott lives in Hull. SFBSAMPBBIOOTD.

Posted 4 years ago #
arrghgarry

offline
Member

That is very good Sigmund ,

but you ignored the 6 that is there already ,already.That makes three 6`s which are also difficult to lie down and analyze .is it 616 or 919 or is the the real sign of the devil 999 ?Damien was looking in a mirror when he saw them .

Posted 4 years ago #
Sigmund Freud

offline
Member

arr, you never mentioned reuse. Reality is that there is no devil so he doesn't have a number.

Posted 4 years ago #
Sharpehunter

offline
Member

Oh dear Sir Sig, you are right of course Prescott does live in hull, hence the pun about Grimsby.... Oh and just for your reference Grimsby does not have a cathedral! It does however smell fishy, especially when Pauline Prescott is in residence.....

Posted 4 years ago #
Pabst Blue Ribbon

offline
Member

Humber Bridge - term used to mean the female perineum, or taint. So called because it joins the fishy place to the shitty place. (Roger's Profanosaurus)

Posted 4 years ago #
Sharpehunter

offline
Member

Pabst, that is classically brilliant!

Posted 4 years ago #
Pabst Blue Ribbon

offline
Member

It's from Viz.

Posted 4 years ago #
Sharpehunter

offline
Member

Good old Roger melly the man on the telly... Oh fuck..

Posted 4 years ago #
arrghgarry

offline
Member

Sig ,there is no devil ,does Dick Cheney come close ?

Posted 4 years ago #
arrghgarry

offline
Member

Sharpe brought into question whether his sub was funny or not and several people mentioned that sometimes you put stuff out there(which you think is bloody great) that does not get a titter .I have thought a few things I put out were brilliant but nothing mo mentioned in dispatches ,a star ,zilch .So maybe there is a lot of stuff that gets put out on NB and even good stuff gets missed ,if people don`t look through a few pages .having said that I am going to repost all my crap that everyone may have missed ,is that ok ?

Posted 4 years ago #
arrghgarry

offline
Member

Sharpe brought into question whether his sub was funny or not and several people mentioned that sometimes you put stuff out there(which you think is bloody great) that does not get a titter .I thought a few things I put out were brilliant but nothing mentioned in dispatches ,a star ,zilch and maybe there is a lot of stuff that gets put out on NB and even good stuff gets missed ,if people don`t look through a few pages .having said that I am going to re-post all my crap that everyone may have missed ,is that ok ?

Posted 4 years ago #
arrghgarry

offline
Member

Sharpe brought into question whether his sub was funny or not and several people mentioned that sometimes you put stuff out there(which you think is bloody great) that does not get a titter .I thought a few things I put out were brilliant but nothing mentioned in dispatches ,a star ,zilch and maybe there is a lot of stuff that gets put out on NB and even good stuff gets missed ,if people don`t look through a few pages .having said that I am going to re-post all my crap that everyone may have missed ,is that ok ?

Posted 4 years ago #
SingingHinny

offline
Member

I'm sorry, what was the middle bit?

Posted 4 years ago #
arrghgarry

offline
Member

Me ,is it not clear ? Sorry.
If you write something which you think is funny and it does not get a response ,it is frustrating and leaves the writer wondering what is wrong with these ungrateful bastards.

Posted 4 years ago #

RSS feed for this topic

12 Next »

Reply »

You must log in to post.