I'd go for a major purge. Professional sports with major international events like tennis, golf, football, basketball. Taekwondo because they've messed the rules up so badly that it no longer resembles a martial art - and karate is coming in, which will make it look even more stupid. Handball, because wtf. Anything with horses - because if horses then why not parrots and dolphins.. Cycling and swimming because they are boring to watch. Rhythmic gymnastics because I feel slightly grubby watching it.
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so what events should get dropped from the next Olympics?
(48 posts) (18 voices)
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If you object to animals being involved, then exclude vehicles like bicycles and boats as well. And equipment like starting blocks, protective helmets and spiked running shoes. Make 'em compete naked, like the ancient Greeks. But only for the beach volleyball, obviously.
Posted 4 years ago # -
out - I'd have to agree with cinquecento's list : and any form of pistol or rifle shooting and the daft walk thing (unless they are combined, in which case the result is probably Syria)
in - dolphin dressage ; releasing hungry panthers to assist sprints; running archery, hammer, discus and javelin events simultaneously in the same arena - last man standing wins ; all divers to be dressed as the games mascot just to reinforce what fucking stupid ideas competitive diving and mascots are ; more events where huge Fijians just gloriously flatten the crap out of ... well, everybody.
Parrots instead of medals.
Posted 4 years ago # -
Agree with most of the above
Taekwondo - I did this at uni, and the style I practised was much more like Karate than this foot-waggling version. I promise, the Karate in Japan will be one of the most watchable events
As for new events, Pokemon Go - 1st to catch 'em all wins
And don't we already have parrot-olympics ?
Posted 4 years ago # -
don't we already have parrot-olympics ?
Nah, stupid boy. It's paralympics:
Posted 4 years ago # -
Sinnick, I did a form of karate incorporating the taekwondo kicks and kata, and used to compete a fair bit. I'm assured by my old instructor, who has been involved in the process, that the Olympic karate rules will be the same as current international karate competition rules. Headguards and the large mitts and foot pads, but the full range of techniques. It will make taekwondo look ridiculous. They need to tweak the judo scoring too, as currently at the top level too many matches are won or lost on minor penalty points rather than significant throws.
Posted 4 years ago # -
"They need to tweak the judo scoring too, as currently at the top level too many matches are won or lost on minor penalty points rather than significant throws. ".
I fully agree. I used to compete at national level more than 35 years ago, and it was near- or full-point only. If no score at the end, the two judges would decide - split decision and the referee had the casting vote.
The heavyweight bout in Rio was won by the French bloke being slightly less immobile than his opponent. Hardly edge-of-the seat stuff.
Posted 4 years ago # -
Playground games. In fact, they should have their own Olympic-style quatrennial celebration.
Imagine an entire stadium with a pclassice eighties comprehensive tarmacced playground in the middle, complete with Bike sheds, incomprehensible entwined coloured ground markings, chain link fences with various holes, a lean-to shed, a dinner queue, cloakroom, couple of wobbly metal pole basketball nets, brick walls round two sides with goals in peeling white paint, coloured doorways and steps to trip on, a fire escape and two plane trees with graffiti carved bark. The drift of cigarette smoke; a trampled-flat Fanta can and some empty Walker's cheese-and-onion packets discernible amongst some dead leaves within a dark slime in the corner.Get International British Bulldog in there (we invented all the best sports) and you'd have a Pakistani Kabaddi team taking on Big Dunc's handpicked all-stars, complete with snot smeared jumpers, wet palms and drawing pins in their v-neck jumpers.
Imagine National 'it' or 'Had' teams, trained to the apogee of expertise, doing that thing where two opponents stand facing each other 'had'ing each other to and fro in a blur of strokes until one gauges the perfect moment to twist away and weave a lightning course to the safety of the Big Bin.
Competitive long-rope skipping, marbles, coin against the wall and jacks games dotted all round; Conker battles, where British Ingenuity coupled with Sarsons Malt Vinegar ensure we reign supreme.
And if you are still doubting the wisdom of this great Playground Congregation, then imagine the Swedish Kiss-Chase team rocking up.
Posted 4 years ago # -
Singlesticks, shin-kicking, jousting ... all in the original version of the modern Olympics, which took place near Chipping Camden in 1612 as any fule kno*
* - Or at least any fule who invested a very reasonable £35 in this wonderful book:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Interregnum-Restoration-Gloucestershire-1640-1672-Historical/dp/0861932366Posted 4 years ago # -
- Golf and tennis should go immediately. Swimming should be limited to freestyle: if you were to be attacked by a crocodile, nobody would adopt backstroke: who cares how fast anyone is at backstroke?
- Women's football is the pinnacle, so that can stay, but how about either 5-a-side or 7-a-side football for the men (and the women)?
- Cycling road race is too much of a lottery: either have an aggregate of a few races, or drop it entirely.
- BMX at the moment is last man left uninjured... it's fun to watch, but not an Olympic sport.
- Skateboarding and surfing have no place at the Olympics.
- I want to get rid of Rhythmic Gymnastics, but they're pretty good at it. I'm not sure whether Olympic circus skills are worthwhile.
Things to include:
- Squash. For God's sake, squash.
- Spectators at the events.
- Puissance horse high-jump
Posted 4 years ago # -
Could they economise by combining things? Like, horse-swimming, or kyak polo?
_ _ _If you really wanted healthier nations, how about a 'standards' competition like we had a school? This is where you set a modest standard for each sport, and each house in the school gets one point for each sport in which each member achieves that standard. You could scale it as a proportion of the population for inter-national competition.
It would dispel the nonsensical idea that just one person winning a gold medal somehow improves a nation's health.
Posted 4 years ago # -
Skateboarding and surfing have no place at the Olympics
yes, and same for climbing, that apparently is going to feature in Tokyo. part of the attraction of these sports is the relative lack of olympic style competition BS. they do have their sponsored stars and competitions, but they remain a small part of what it's about. can't imagine anyone other than the equipment and clothing manufacturers really wants these sports in the Games.
Posted 4 years ago # -
This raises a serious point. Healthy recreation and exercise are good for everyone, without any involving any element of 'sport' or 'competition'.
Whereas the silly obsession with competitive sport and in particular Olympic sport may be entertaining, exciting and/or a boost for a nation's morale (especially if it's some crap little country with no Nobel prizewinners or any other worthwhile national achievement to be proud of) but is of no physical benefit whatever.
If you want a healthier nation, fund better access to the countryside, better road conditions for cyclists, better paths for pedestrians, more public parks and more public swimming pools - not Olympic medals.
Posted 4 years ago #
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