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Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten

1. 

   shitsu_tonka
   

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   So now we know we can be funny all the time and every sub will be glorious, yes?

   The seekrit

   Like the Ken Dodd gag at the end.

   Posted 2 years ago #
2. 

   sauce
   

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   I think Doddy had it.

   Posted 2 years ago #
3. 

   Sigmund Freud
   

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   I think he's a cheeky git.

   Posted 2 years ago #
4. 

   the coarse whisperer
   

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   The Glasgow Empire? No, but the Viennese Psychiatric Society could be rough crowd. Fluff the difference between oral sadist and anal receptive and you'd be lucky to escape getting bottled off.

   Posted 2 years ago #
5. 

   rikkor
   

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   The secret of comedy is fart noises, end of story. A rabbi is inherently funny because he will not shake hands with a woman, but will poke one through a hole in a sheet.

   Posted 2 years ago #
6. 

   Golgo13
   

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   Rabbi hits friend

   Shoppers in Oxford Street were shocked yesterday when without warning a rabbi hit another rabbi (who was his friend) full in the face with a 3 foot salmon, right in front of Top Shop.

   "Friends don't normally hit friends", said Ben Shaper, a shopper, "especially rabbis. I was confused."

   But actually they were just pretending.

   Posted 2 years ago #
7. 

   riesler
   

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   Pretending what?
   To be rabbis?
   That it was a salmon?
   That it was Top Shop?

   We must be told!!!!

   Posted 2 years ago #
8. 

   Golgo13
   

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   Good point. I should make it clearer. Last line should read:-

   But actually, it was just pretend violence, so you don't need to feel threatened by the situation.

   Tip of the hat to you if this makes FP/NiB.

   Posted 2 years ago #
9. 

   mugwump
   

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   Ken Dodd was funnier Rabbi's, Rabbits and Rab C. Nesbuscuit

   Posted 2 years ago #
10. 

    Hunter F. Thompson
    

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    Mr Esler, I think you'll find that an antiquated jewish joke is in play here, to background the Rabbi slaps Rabbi business reportedly outside Top Shop. The question is: "What is green, has wings and can be red on the Tube?"

    Dunno.

    Answer: "A fish." [Ed. possibly a salmon...]

    But....a fish innit green! it innit got wings and never goes on the tube!

    Answer: "Well, you're right. I lied about all that."

    Posted 2 years ago #
11. 

    Oxbridge
    

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    Which Department of the Bleeding Obvious is this bloke from? Of course the sausage joke is funnier about a rabbi for the simple reason that a farmer MIGHT promote a new range of sausagees. It's a bit like taking a drug for cancer on the grounds that it works better than a glass of water - which is pretty much what we do already but that's by the by.

    As for Ken Dodd, surely the funniest Tory tax dodger of all time.

    Posted 2 years ago #
12. 

    Hunter F. Thompson
    

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    The secret of comedy is fart noises, end of story.

    I'm more or less with Mr Kor, on this, with the proviso that the written version is toilet and knob jokes.

    When I googled his nugget of wisdom, I found this edifying piece about an iPhone app.

    Posted 2 years ago #
13. 

    Hunter F. Thompson
    

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    As if to confirm our aggregated wisdom displayed in these pages, this hilarious report taken straight from a nursery rhyme.

    Posted 2 years ago #
14. 

    rikkor
    

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    Quelle drollerie, et inclusee les noises des farts.

    Posted 2 years ago #
15. 

    Hunter F. Thompson
    

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    Une noise, Monsieur Kor, est un refus formel d'obtemperer. I know you wish to describe a generic type of sound, which - in French - is: un bruit, in this case perhaps: un bruit de chasse d'eau.

    Your last word on this matter is: un pêt.

    Which is merely the introduction to the perennially amusing tale of the gifted and celebrated French artiste known as Le pêtomane.

    Look it up.

    Posted 2 years ago #
16. 

    rikkor
    

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    "Le ptomaine". Encore, amusant.

    Posted 2 years ago #

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