Guy Richie has assembled what has been as a Stella cast of beer boys, geezers and badly advised actors, for what could be the ultimate in the inexplicably popular new genre of Shit Brit Gang Flicks.
Luminaries such as Leslie Grantham, Danny Dyer and Vinnie Jones have been persuaded to lend their considerable talents to the heist. The cast will include respected actors such as Ray Winston, Robert Carlyle and Ian McShane, who’ve all somehow been persuaded to come out of retirement for ‘one last slag’ (gangster film industry slang for ‘appalling, cliché ridden, nonsensically plotted buttock-clenchingly embarrassing British gangster film)
With an unchallenging script by BBC dramatist Rupert Blakehurst, author of many an EastEnders storyline, the story follows a group of geezers who devise a get rich scheme that can’t fail. They plan to pull off a British heist movie. In a country full of myopic luvvies and dimwit cockney wannabes, this sounds like a money making scheme that can’t possibly fail. But, unbeknown to the lovable rogues, the usual tame film critics and celeb magazine pluggers go on holiday, and are replaced temporarily by morons who don’t know the rules of British film reviewing. And before our eyes, the Heist film begins to go horribly wrong.
Though it hasn’t been made yet, the film has already received enthusiastic poster endorsement from usual sources.
‘A cracking British gangster movie,’ says the Daily Star. ‘Gritty, realistic and with cracking dialogue’ proclaimed Maxim magazine. While the last word goes to London's Time Out magazine, which describes the film as ‘A theatrical tour de force.’