TV's 'Celebrity Masterchef' presenter Gregg Wallace was today named 'Glutton of the Year' for the second year running by the prestigious publication. Awarded 10 out of 10, Wallace easily beat off the nearest competition. Evening Standard food critic Charlie Campion, who racked up a mere seven, finished second with Michael Winner, who has dropped from a ten-year dominance since shrivelling to the size of a whippet, third.
Describing his feelings on retaining the title, a beaming Mr. Wallace said he was 'like a pig in shit'.
Asked why he insists on retaining the extra 'g' on his forename, Mr. Wallace retorted 'Well, it's big, it's beefy and it has an egg in it. Nom nom nom!"